30/30 of Thirty Thankful Days

Today is day 30/30 of my Thirty Thankful Days! experiment. I'm not sure who's been following along this whole time, but it's been great for me, and I've learned a lot..especially how to see good things in my life, despite trials or circumstances. It's amazing that a whole month has gone by. Tomorrow will be December first. I can't believe we're a month away from another year gone by. Wow.


Today, I am thankful for my family. My immediate family and my extended family (in-laws and siblings/parents). I'm thankful for their support. I'm thankful for our little car. I'm thankful for my home and its heat and that we can sleep warmly. I'm thankful for the dinner I was able to make tonight and to feed my family with. I'm thankful for my children and that we're a family of four. I'm thankful for the sweet, dear people in my life and for those that constantly help us. I'm thankful for my friends. I'm thankful for the church that I attend and for the testimony that I have of my Savior. I'd be lost in this world with out them. I'm thankful for Jonathan and the fun we have together and for the love that we share. I'm thankful for my body and that it's whole and in one piece and that I can bear children. I'm thankful for all these blessings, and so much more. You'd be scrolling if I wrote in detail everything that I'm thankful for.

What are you thankful for?

To express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven. - President Monson

29/30 of Thirty Thankful Days

29/30 of Thirty Thankful Days!


While on pinterest over the last few months I've slowly collected crafts/tradition ideas that I'd like to start making for Christmas or for my home for the season. Now that December is (almost) finally here I feel like I can actually start doing them. One that I found online that was pretty doable is called The Christ book. It's a compilation of scriptures (plus a more modern understanding/explanation for children), children's Christmas hymns, and pictures. It starts before Christ's birth, when prophets prophesied of His coming, all the way through the crucifixion, resurrection, and the 2nd Coming. I ordered the primary picture packets today, and printed off everything yesterday (ended up running out of ink, oops). I can't wait 'til it's complete, but it looks pretty good. I put it in a binder and have plastic sheet covers. The final product should look good.

Today I am thankful for all that Christ did for us and is. He is a shining example of who we are supposed to be. He is perfect in every way. I am thankful His life was so selfless. I'm thankful He is so kind, forgiving, and loving. I remember reading a women's blog and she was saying how she'd rather see her children share with another child, or give them their lunch, or be kind, than see them in fancy clothes or have good grades or whatever. She'd rather see them have a love for Christ and for those around them than for material things. She also mentioned how every day since they were even in the womb, she prays that they will have a love for Jesus. She isn't a member of my church, but she has a strong testimony in our Savior. I thought it was particularly special how she prays for her two girls to love the Lord. Before reading that I never really thought about that. I just kind of prayed for Lydia to be kind and loving to others.. but I have seen the need to actually have the Lord in your heart and mind all the time.. and why not pray for our children to be receptive to the Lord? I am thankful for her good example and am thankful for wonderful people out there of all faiths who are trying their hardest to be good and righteous in this world.

28/30 of Thirty Thankful Days

28/30 of my Thirty Thankful Days!


Hmm.. I kind of stink when I get a few days behind in what I'm thankful for. I can barely remember what I even did 2 days ago, let alone what I was thinking about. 

Wednesday, the 28th, was the day after my little sister's birthday, Amy. I remember thinking about her the last few days. I can't believe she's already 12!!! Holy cow haha. I am thankful I have a sweet little girl for my sister. She is always so nice and kind - and sometimes hilariously funny. She says the funniest things (that sometimes she doesn't even know is funny) and usually just reading her facebook statuses make me laugh (okay okay, it usually is the type-o's, but I love her innocence). I remember when we left for Texas so I could get married, and then again last December to come to Idaho, she bawled her little eyes out. I was so frustrated (the first time, when I was leaving to get married) at the airport and wanted things to go smoothly, and she was crying and just wanting to hug me, but I told her to step back so that I could finish getting ready to get my tickets/prepare for security check. She ended up walking away and sat with my dad, still crying. I felt really bad afterward, because all she wanted to do was hold me and not let me leave to Texas. :) It was actually really sweet, I just wished I had realized then how much she needed me. She is a sweet little soul.

I know she misses me and my family a lot. She constantly makes little comments about how lucky Mari or maybe my mom might be when/if they come to Idaho for school and to see the new baby in April. I know she really wants to visit. It might be possible in the future...maybe during the summer.. but we'll have to see. I hope I'm a good example to her, because now that two of the girls will be out of the house (soon, at least for a short period of time) she'll need someone to look up to, that doesn't just play Call of Duty all the time (cough, Joseph ;) ).

Love you little Amy! Make good choices! And smile, pretty girl :)

27/30 of Thirty Thankful Days

Today is day 27/30 of Thirty Thankful Days!

I can't believe I am almost done with Thirty Thankful Days! It seems like just a few days ago I was on day 4! Time really does fly by during the holidays. But, in light of everything, I am thankful I went ahead and blogged about what I am thankful for. It has really opened my eyes.

Today, I am thankful for marriage. I love being married. You join in this bond to help one another, love each other, and eventually start a family together, raising precious little people. You work together, hurt together, and rejoice together. Today I am thankful that I had Jonathan here with me. After being at work until 10, he came home and wanted to watch a movie with me. Before the movie even started I asked to see if he wouldn't mind going to the store to get some sprite to help my sore throat. He did it without me begging (haha) and left pretty promptly. He even came back with COD black ops haha. After the movie we played a few rounds together and it was a lot of fun. Finally, I told him I had to get off because I was getting a headache and needed to sleep (I hate being sick). He started to pretend to throw a fit like Lydia. He wanted me to keep playing haha. I refused but agreed I'd play with him tomorrow. I love how we can have fun together, even doing silly things like killing computers on Call of Duty. I love serving him and I'm thankful when he serves me too. I love and am thankful I'm married.

26/30 of Thirty Thankful Days

26/30 of Thirty Thankful Days!

(For Monday). I am really thankful I'm a mom. I know I say that a lot.. but it's such a wonderful thing. I've learned so much, and am constantly learning more. I saw a saying on Pinterest that said something like, "While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about." It's so true!

I'm really thankful for cuddle time today. We had to take Jonathan to work early in the morning at 645 (after only sleeping for about 4 1/2 hours) and when we came back we were both still tired. So Lydia laid in bed with me and we just cuddled until she fell asleep. I have really come to love cuddle time. She didn't like it much when she was really little - I could only hold her sideways if I nursed her, otherwise she'd just wiggle away until she was upright again. Now she'll lay in my arms when she is getting sleepy and will just smile and look around. I'll sing songs to her and when I stop she goes "mm!" for me to sing another one. I just love her..and I'm glad I get to spend all day with her.

25/30 of Thirty Thankful Days

25/30 of Thirty Thankful Days!


Today while finishing my makeup to get ready for church, our power went out. I had dinner in the crock pot that still needed 5 more hours to go, as well as blow drying my wet hair. I figured it would just go back on within a minute or two, or 5 at the max. Well, an hour went by and nothing. We ended up going to church and had only sacrament meeting in the (mostly) dark chapel. But it was a really good one. I am so glad I got to go. I got to hear Christmas prelude music, sing my favorite hymn - As Now We Take the Sacrament - take the sacrament and be forgiven of my sins.

Today, besides being thankful for all those things, I am really thankful for our power. It's weird how much we rely on that these days, when some of our ancestors barely had candles! I think we take for granted our power/electricity a lot. Our clocks/microwave/stove stopped working, the fridge, my crockpot, the stove, and hair appliances and even the heat turned off. I'm really glad it came back on before we came home (only being gone an hour, but out for two?) but it also made me think that we are definitely not as prepared for a long-term power outage as we should be. Maybe it's a warning, but I definitely want to work on that this coming year. Today I am thankful for our living comforts. Thanks be to God for allowing us to be in light and warmth, once again! :)

24/30 of Thirty Thankful Days

24/30 of Thirty Thankful Days!

Any of you who read my last post will understand. For yesterday, I am really thankful for the power of forgiveness, and Godly sorrow. I am thankful I felt/feel sorry for my mistakes and for knowing I offended my child and Heavenly Father and wanting to change. I am thankful we have such a loving God who forgives us when we do wrong, and continues to help us do right. I felt like crum last night, thinking about my parenting..and it was only through prayer and His help that I feel like today went so much better than the previous days. We've had less fits and no "no"s. We have a lot more happiness in the home. I am so thankful for that.

Have I tarnished My Angel?

These next few thoughts haunted me last night.

I was about to go to sleep when I started thinking about my day..and my actions.. and how I treated my child. I was very displeased.

I have previously said on facebook how none of my disciplining techniques seem to work. I don't know about other moms..but I am having the hardest time between getting Lydia to understand consequences to her actions and disciplining her in righteousness. I don't want to have to reach my breaking point before I think she gets the point. That would be too much to bear for myself. But I do want to teach.

I was thinking about my day and I started to feel so wracked with guilt. A few days ago I talked to Jonathan and asked him what happens to people when they hurt/murder children (totally unrelated, but his answer popped up in my head last night). He then quoted scripture in Matthew 18 which says, "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." It doesn't say murder.. It says offend. They are that precious to Him. And I'm pretty sure I offended her a few times.

Yesterday, when Lydia touched the plunger stick in the bathroom, I accidentally pushed her down to take it away from her. She screamed at me.. and while trying to brush off her little tantrum, I realized how mean I had been. I didn't need to push her, but I did. Then later, when I had had a little argument with Jonathan, I sat on my bed quietly thinking. She was saying, "Mama.. Mommy.. Moooommmy..Mommy...mama MAMA!!!" over and over because I didn't reply once. After a while I said, "WHAT!?" in my lack of patience. Even though she was hardly phased by my shortness with her, I felt terrible. Why was I so short with her? What did she do wrong? Indeed, it was I. Later, when she broke a Christmas ornament over the kitchen floor, I swatted her butt away so I could clean it up without her getting hurt (ironic, huh?). She didn't even flinch, or cry. I guess I just want her to understand already, that it's not good. I don't want to keep punishing her. I don't like doing it..and obviously it's not working. I hate the person that I become when I hurt her, especially when I feel like she didn't even "learn her lesson." Ugh..


Last night, I was stick to my stomach. While Jonathan slept I prayed for divine guidance to help me help her. I wet my pillow with my tears..and it still pains me to write this thinking of how I tarnished her. She used to be so sweet all the time. I never had or needed to slap her hand. She never threw fits or hit or said "no." Even when she did wrong, I understood it was because she is a baby. It was me who taught her to behave certainly. It was my example. I don't like seeing my bad parenting reflected in Lydia.

I wish I had never slapped her hand when she spilled her milk. She now hits me and Jonathan in the face, arms, or legs. 

I wish I had never told her "no!no!no!no!"  She now points to her baby doll, who does nothing wrong, and tells her "no!no!no!no!"

I don't want her to hit people. I don't want her to throw fits. I don't want her to say no. And nothing I do now reverses that. I have told Jonathan I am not hitting her anymore on the hand when she spills her milk, instead I make her clean it up. But it doesn't change anything. When she's upset she still hits me. I am hoping that love will take over that bad habit in time.

I will say, however, that today, after remembering my thoughts last night, I decided to approach her differently. When she took ornaments off the tree, I tried my best to discipline with kindness. I tried to be patient. And I let her take the plastic ones off and play with them, without getting upset. When she broke my little snowglobe and water and glass got all over the kitchen floor, I just cleaned it up. I know now that no amount of pretending to cry to show it hurt my feelings, or slapping her hand, or swatting her butt, or saying "no" is going to do anything. Sure, I don't have a $1.00 snowglobe anymore, but that doesn't really matter. We had less anger, and no tears.

I want my daughter to be kind. I want her to be patient. And I want her to love others. But I have to do and be that first.

One awesome thing my bishop in my ward has taught me while ago, as I sat in his office, was this:

How do you get a bent nail straight?

...

A pat on the back works better than a hit on the head.

 Reprooving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved.

 {D&C 121:41}

23/30 Christmas Decorations!!

23/30 of Thirty Thankful Days!


Even though we still don't have snow, and it is warm outside.. It still feels Christmasy inside our home! Today, I am thankful for our wonderful Christmas decorations, our tree, and Jonathan's job which was able to pay for these things. I feel really blessed. I love the feeling of Christmas and am so glad we have our own home this year to celebrate it for a whole month and a half!

Don't mind my weird face.. I was just happy she actually smiled. She thought it was sooo funny having those antlers on her head hahaha

As you can tell... I told her to "Say cheeeese!'

Our little paper chain decos and nativities (one's a snowglobe)

Jonathan's (the one I sent him when we first started dating), mine which my mother made, Lydia's (which barely lasted the 5 seconds on the wall in which it took for me to take a picture) and baby Elena's itty bitty one. :)

Our little dollar store town :) It was so tempting to get more.

intruder alert!!! ;)

Uhh.. we didn't know where else to put our snowmen and santa globe haha..

My new legit (meaning not plastic-throw-away) tablecloth. And apple cinnamon candles.

Our decorated tree. Just need a tree skirt, some garland, and a star!!! :D I love it!!

Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving was spent with our neighbors Jared and Whitney, and then Jonathan's brothers Alex and Anthony and their friend came over as well. Jared and Whitney took care of the turkey, stuffing, potatoes, gravy and drinks, and we took care of the corn, green bean casserole, rolls (which half turned out ghetto? Only half the pan rose), and banana cream and chocolate cream pies, as well as a caramel apple dip w/ apples for an appetizer. Anthony brought pecan, pumpkin, and apple pies. Needless to say, we were definitely prepared for dessert! It was all sooo yummy. We didn't take a picture of our feast..but I figure I'd spare you anyway. You know what food looks like, I'm sure.

After dinner, the boys watched football (until Jonathan couldn't take seeing UT mess up and still be losing so he turned it off - thank goodness - because I didn't want to spend 3 hours watching that). Then everyone decided to go to Walmart to be ready to grab their items before 8pm. We got there..and I stood there next to Whitney for 5 minutes. Lydia was being soo wiggly and wanted to just walk around..but couldn't because there were TONS of people! I really don't mind shopping at like 4 or 5 in the morning on black Friday, it seems like less people.. but this was just insane. I was only there for 5 minutes before I decided to just take Lydia home. It felt so nice being home - quiet and calm, and no people. And she fell asleep in the car, so I got to take a little nap. About an hour and a half later, everyone came home with their goodies - lots and lots of movies. They seemed to have really good deals on that. We went back upstairs and the boys were playing the new Assassin's creed. Then I convinced them to watch Disney's Squanto and that's how we ended our night - which I'm glad! It's a really good movie, and has been a tradition of my dad's/family since I can remember.

After it was over we went home and decided to put up our tree. It came with lights, but we have no ornaments yet, so we'll probably go to the dollar tree later and get some cheap decos! I'm excited. :)

I told her to say 'blaaaahhh.' Notice her shirt? We're SO ready for Christmas!!

When she gets tired she likes to hop on the couch, grab my arm and hold it next to her cheek.  My arm was also wrapped through her arms and legs with her feet crossed. After this, I grabbed her in my arms and she fell asleep. It was sweet :)

My weird rolls. I think the 8 on the right are from an old bag in the freezer. Good thing I got more at the store Wednesday night.

Lydia playing in the kitchen while Whitney cleaned up. Jonathan and the boys were entertained by football (bleh)

She always has so much fun over there haha

My silly little beautiful goose :)

When we came home (at like 12:30 haha) we decided to put our tree together. This is our first tree we've ever had. Our first Christmas married, we were moving, but Jon's mom got us a mini little tree for our apartment while we were there. We ended up having to give it away because we couldn't take it with us. Last year we spent Christmas in CO. This year I have no idea what's happening, but I'm glad I get to decorate my house all Christmasy. It's my favorite holiday. :)

Despite what I said on facebook, I actually told her to touch the tree for this picture. I think it's cute. Plus, she really likes "liiiiiii" haha for lights

She does really well with the tree. She hardly touched Jared and Whitney's tree. And even last night I caught her hanging a (clean) diaper on the tree hahaha I thought that was funny.

This morning cuddles. We're both a little shleepy (lookin') haha

22/30 Thanksgiving Day!

This really does say it all. We should be thankful every day of our lives 

because we have so much to be thankful for. 

We really do. 

21/30 Thirty Thankful Days

21/30 of Thirty Thankful Days!

Today, hubby surprised me and took me out to the movies (well it would have been a surprise but I found out. Oops haha). While I was sitting there I was thinking about the Aurora CO shootings and also the recent threat attempt to shoot/hurt people in a theater featuring the new Twilight movie which luckily got thwarted. I sat there watching, thinking... Today...I'm really thankful I'm alive. Simple as that.


(sorry this is short and sweet. I'm on my phone)

20/30 of Thirty Thankful Days

20/30 of Thirty Thankful Days!

Today I am thankful for Lydia's sense of humor. She does the funniest things! Today she was sitting on her baby doll (not that I should be too pleased.. as long as she doesn't do that to the future baby we'll be okay) and it just made me laugh. We were also playing a little game where she would throw a little pamphlet that was supposed to be in a dvd case, and a little crayon, down the crack of the recliner. I would save it and throw it back at her while saying, "haaayyyy!!" when she'd pick it up and throw it back down and we'd do it over and over. Finally I grabbed the crayon and put it under her neck lol.  She then decided to keep taking it and putting it under her neck and using her double chin make it stay. I thought that was soo funny. What a little goofy girl! I also love how she just melts when I pretend to "massage her (nonexistent) shoulders" lol.. she instantly falls to the floor, giggling.

I am just so thankful for her sense of humor. I love how she finds happiness in simple things. I love how she laughs when Jonathan says anything!! Seriously. He always comments on how she laughs at him whenever he talks or quotes people haha. She is a good reminder to just be happy! She is a good reminder to just laugh whenever you feel like it, even when things aren't particularly funny to someone else, it's okay to smile and just enjoy the moment.

I'm thankful she gives me that perspective.

Interesting things with this pregnancy. (this is August something.. early August)

1) I am sooooooooooooo so tired. And that's an understatement. Between nursing Lydia, the new baby absorbing all my nutrients, going to sleep late, waking up early AND exercising... I'm wiped out. I guess I should expect that. And go take a nap. Right now.

2) I am having weird cravings/food aversions. It's not extreme, but most the food that I normally eat makes me feel like I'd be sick even just thinking about eating them haha. Lately I've been loving mac and cheese and salads. I even had a salad for breakfast today! crazy! I never had this problem, mild as it is, with Lydia.

3) Sometimes I feel a little queasy, but not enough to throw up. Thank goodness. But I'm only 5 weeks. They say around 6 weeks you start getting more nauseous. I feel a lot different with this pregnancy than with Lydia's. Maybe I'm having a boy.

4) I'm not as skinny as I was the first time around with Lydia. I remember not being able to wait til I got a little belly to show off. Now I have more belly than I'd like, and no (big) baby underneath to take the blame for it! Hence, the exercising. I don't want to gain very much weight this pregnancy since I'm already overweight and never got down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Hopefully only gaining between 20-25lbs.

5) I constantly have a feeling this baby is going to be a boy. I hope my mother's intuition is correct. Not, my mother's mother's intuition.. but mine haha. (PS: it's not a boy! haha)

Little Baby Gave Mom a Little Baby Scare

Phewph! Little baby, you scared Mama today.

We went in for your 15 (1 day) week check up to hear your little baby heart beat.

Well, we listened and listened and couldn't hear a thing... I was a little nervous.

Luckily, you have a good doc and he put the doppler a little lower on my tummy and surprise! You were just sneaking away, not wanting to be found, but we foundja! Little stinker. You better not do that in real life!

You have a heart rate of 155. It's funny our appointments only really last 2 minutes! I guess you could chock that up to mom feeling so good and not having any questions, which is a good thing. We also made an another appointment to see you in 4 weeks (at 19 weeks along)! Forrr youuurrr ullltraaasouuuunnnndddd (that was said in a singy voice.. ) Hooray! Can't wait to find out "what" you are, so I can put a name to an...ultrasound face haha.

Love you munchkin!!!


Mama <3>

Jumping Jelly Bean!

11 weeks, 1 day. 

Today we had your first ultrasound. After about an hour + of waiting to be seen (our poor doc was put on urgent care call at the office), we finally got to see you on screen. These past (almost) 7 weeks have been soooo incredibly long, which is funny, because with Lydia, we didn't get to see her until 20 weeks! This was still kinda torture though..so this was definitely a treat for us!

Doc says you are measuring right on time, your heart rate is 150bpm, which is normal, and there's only one of you...phewph! It was kinda funny because you looked like a little jumping jelly bean inside! You were wiggling and partyin'.. I can't wait til you grow bigger and I can finally hold you! I yearn for another tiny baby to hold and cuddle. I look at your big sis and wonder, where has all this time gone? She's HUGE! Where did my tiny baby go? But, soon, I know you will fill that void. I can't wait to hold my two precious babies in my arms, my little jewels. I love you so very much. Thank you for being healthy and alive. And mine.

You're making my dreams come true. :)

Dear Baby

Dear Little Baby                                                                                                         August 7, 2012


I know you're only the size of a poppyseed right now, according to all the online baby websites, but I already love you so much! It's fun thinking about if you are going to be a boy or girl, and what you'll look like. I am sure you'll probably have the same features as your older sister, Lydia; dark hair, light brown skin, big eyes. I can't wait for 16 more weeks so I can find out what gender you are so I can finally put a name to my sweet little child. (I have my guesses though.. according to mommy's dreams, and they were correct with Lydia last time, you will be a boy.. so weeee'll seeeee!!!)

With you.. it is much different this time. I will always love your big sister SO much because she was our first child. But I didn't feel like I did everything right when she was in my tummy. I could have exercised more, ate better, always took my prenatal pill, and gone to all my doctor appointments. But I was never perfect at any of those. For you, I'm going to try so much harder to be a good Mommy. Now, don't get me wrong, your sister is amazing! You're gonna love her! We are so blessed to have her. She loves her baby dolls so much, I am sure she will love you the same. She is perfect in every way, as I'm sure you will be. However, now that I know more, I feel more accountable. I want you to turn out the same way as she did. I want to do everything right for you. Because you deserve it. I am praying for a good pregnancy, labor, and delivery, like your sister gave me. Please let me be that lucky again! I'll love you forever! (Just kidding, I'd love you forever anyway ha! .. Please don't mind Mommy's unique sense of humor.)

Little Baby, it is so strange to be thinking I will get to hold another tiny creature in 9 fast months. I can't wait 'til you are here. I can't wait to hold a tiny human being once more and become a Mother all over again. Being a Mother pleases me very much. It is my calling and responsibility - my duty. It's a duty that I love and cherish.. I never (or try not to) take it for granted. My babies are my blessings. You are a blessing.

Little One... do you know you have to be a surprise? Do you know we have to keep you a secret? Not because you're bad or a mistake, but because we want to. We want to have a little fun with this new experience and be able to surprise our family and friends with this great announcement. Did you know your Sis turned one this year? She'll almost be two by the time you get here..around Mommy's birthday! I am so excited! Did you know you have a fresh cousin from Heaven, named Samantha. That's Daddy's sister's daughter..and another cousin on the way - Mommy's brother's son (he's nameless at the moment). But I am pretty sure you were already friends with them in Heaven. That makes me happy.

Little Sweetie, thank you for coming to me. I know I am not the best mother, but I try very very hard. I try to be a good example to your Sis and teach her correct things. I sometimes feel like I don't deserve you precious children, because there are tons of other wonderful women out there dying to have babies. I always ask myself, why am I so lucky? I know I always ask that, but seeing my children through a Mother's eyes and heart makes me feel incredibly, abundantly blessed.

I can not wait to meet you and let you change my life all over again. Thank you for coming to me.

Love,

Mommy

Firsts for My Second

August 6th, 2012

Umm.. WOW!!!!! excited much!?


{I kind of have a secret. By the time anyone reads this, it won't be a secret anymore.}

WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY!!!! I JUST FOUND OUT TONIGHT!!

There. I said it. At least it's off my chest at the moment. For this second baby we wanted to keep it a surprise/secret for everyone. We didn't want any condescending or judgmental comments from anyone. And with Lydia I announced it to the whole world that I was having a baby the DAY I found out. There's something always so magical about the first baby. Everyone is so happy for you. For the second baby, it's not as surprising news and for some reason, not as magical for everyone else. So this time we were gonna keep it low-key and wait as long as possible.. probably until 20 weeks, or until we find out if it's a boy or girl before we make an announcement - plus, I already have some cute ideas in mind on how I want to announce it heheh thanks pinterest. (So far, I already had a dream (a few days ago) that I was having boys... yes, boyS!.. two.. but they were different races and born like a few weeks apart, so it kinda made me laugh. I hope that's not a sign for twins. Well, I would love twins, but I'm not sure how we would actually make it work with 3 babies at once! haha anyway)

So backing up. I actually got off birth control back in April. We had been praying and asking God the months prior if it was the right thing to expand our family. And I was waiting for General Conference to give me an answer (I'll write about that in another post). Taking out my IUD seemed like the right thing to do. When we were at the doctors, my doctor was happy for us. But when the nurse came in, she asked me if the IUD was bothering me or if I wanted more kids. With a smile I told her we wanted more kids..and she said, "oh, I would have thought with a baby so young you'd want to wait a little while longer." I wasn't totally offended by that comment.. I just told her no and smiled, but comments like that are the reason we don't want to announce it until it's been a long time. ..Of course, silly me, I thought I'd get pregnant right away. It's taken 5 months or so, not as long a wait as it is for some. Sometimes I feel so guilty that I can have kids when others can't. I feel selfish asking for another baby, when some can't even have one.

It's a weird feeling right now. I feel happy, but at the same time, everyone is SICK.. so when I told Jonathan he was like melancholyingly happy for me. Not exactly what I was hoping for, but he is pretty miserable right now. He told me if he felt better he would hug me haha. For me, I was kind of nervous all day. Well, I had been numbering the days on my planner..and for some reason in my mind I thought yesterday was day 28 and that I'd be starting my cycle today and whenever that "time of the month" comes, it comes whenever it wants to during the day, so I was thinking it was nothing. When I double checked today I realized that Saturday was day 28 and that I was supposed to start yesterday. So I had already missed a day! So I decided since I wasn't seeing any signs of TOM that I would take poor sick Tiki on an adventure to Walgreens and pick up a pregnancy test. I was so nervous to take it. I don't know why.

{side note! I'VE HAD NO MORNING SICKNESS YET! I hope that I have a second great pregnancy, just like the first! *fingers crossed!*..}


Anyway, I looked on a few baby websites before taking the test and looked at the symptoms and I didn't have ANY symptoms of early pregnancy hahaha! I kind of thought I was pregnant already, but I was kind of scared to confirm it. You know each month you either can or can't be pregnant, it's either a yes or a no. When it is a definite yes, that's when you have to start buckling down and planning for that child, so it was a weird feeling haha. With Lydia I tested first thing in the morning. This time I bought the test in the evening..and waited a few hours.. It's weird...because this is what I have been praying for for the last few months.. so why was I nervous? Needless to say, it feels surreal. It feels weird probably because we're not telling anyone. With Lydia we were so ecstatic that we told everyone. So excited even though we were total noobs. Now it's like.. we've done this before, we know what to expect (for the most part), it's not our first baby, but we're still so excited to bring someone else to our family. Lydia won't be the only child anymore. She'll have to learn that we'll have to share our love and affection and complete adoration with another human being. I'm sure it'll be challenging, but so worth it. Well, these are my first thoughts!

anyways, sorry for my COMPLETE RAMBLING!!!

2nd Trimester Thoughts

Hay lil baby!

I'm now in my 2nd Trimester. 14 weeks 3 days. Time seems to be going by pretty fast! We will be at 19 weeks soon enough when we have the 2nd ultrasound to find out if you are a boy or girl. We actually have a doctor's appointment next Monday where we'll get to hear your baby heartbeat again. Yay!

Well, for starters, I have had heartburn like crazy! Almost every night! I'm trying to eat healthier to avoid it..but sometimes it's hard to stay away from the "bad stuff." I also feel a lot better now, peeing wise haha.. I don't feel like I spend all my waking (and wishing to sleep) hours on the porcelain throne urinating.. I'm also not as tired, mostly due to the fact that the last two weeks or so Lydia finally decided she could sleep through the night. So that means I can too! Hooray! It's been wonderful.

I can feel my tummy stretch, so that's a good sign. I hope you're getting nice and big! I've been taking my prenatal pill every day so I hope that helps. I (kinda) hope you're bigger than Lydia..she was pretty small, and has taken a long time to gain weight, but I hope you're not toooooo chunkay! I don't want to birth a 10 pounder now haha that would be sooo much fun! *note the sarcasm* ;)

Anyway, I just want to say that I love you and think about you every day and as each day passes the day approaches where we get to see you again on screen and put a name to that little body growing inside of me. I can't wait little one! Love you!

Mommy

Bouncy Bounce!

November 6

Little jumping jelly bean! (sorta..you're supposedly the size of an avocado? or something like that)

The last two days I have really felt you move. I kind of questioned it yesterday, because it didn't feel as hard as it did with Lydia, but I know for sure it is you. Only something so tiny and perfect could make those little motions in my tummy. It pleases me to know that you are alive and well. Kick away little baby! Those movements are so reassuring. :) Momma loves you.

19/30 Thirty Thankful Days

19/30 of Thirty Thankful Days!


So... I had written this on the iphone last night (since my laptop cord broke yesterday) but I had no way of saving it (because I wasn't done) so I just pushed the home button and closed out of it and eventually it deleted the whole thing! So here I am again.


I wanted to write about yesterday morning. We woke up excited and anxious. We arrived to our appointment on time, like usual, at 10:15. When we arrived there was maybe 3 people ahead of us to be called in, so I thought we'd get in and out pretty fast. We had waited at least 30 minutes in the waiting room, and at least 15 other people had gotten called in before us, who had came in after us. So it was a little frustrating. I guess I keep scheduling my appointments on days where my doctor is scheduled to do immediate care (walk-ins) so he is always an hour and a half behind. So after waiting 40 minutes to get called back, we finally got to our room. Then we waited another 40 minutes. It wasn't until I finally opened the door (and my once happy baby turned Oscar the grouch and was screaming that I was about to leave the room) to go find a nurse or someone, when one walked towards me saying the Ultrasound room was ready. Oyy.. So that was frustrating. Then we waited some more in the super hot US room. When my doctor finally came he set everything up. We found out it was a girl (after looking very hard.. she wasn't positioned very inviting for us to see haha - actually breeched at the moment, which explains the little tickly kicking in my lower stomach haha). I wasn't disappointed it was a girl, but we had hopes of it being a boy (we even bought a few boy items because I was so sure..oops!). And then when he printed out the pictures they didn't come out good at all - none of them. Over all I was slightly disappointed with our office visit (not bc of a girl or anything, no way, that was just a  surprise haha)..

Now, I KNOW this sounds like complaining! It so was. I was being such a little jerk.

It wasn't until later when I was thinking about this whole experience and realized how ungrateful I was being. I failed to see I had another little baby, a daughter, growing healthily inside of me. I failed to see my sleepy, hungry, little daughter sitting on her daddy's lap, patiently waiting so well. I failed to see wonderful technology at work, allowing me to even see my baby inside my belly! I failed to just be thankful that I had a baby growing, when others try and try and can't. Oyy, I needed a good slap in the face for how ungrateful I was being. But I am so glad I was able to see the error of my ways. I'm so thankful I have a healthy body able to carry babies, and be able to add to our family. I'm glad we didn't wait. A lot of people say people are two young to have a baby, or should go out and do things before you "get tied down". However, there are lots of blessings that come with having children. There are so many things that Lydia does that make us laugh constantly on a daily basis. She brings light into our lives. I am so thankful for her! AND our other little daughter, Elena. They are the light of my lives!!!

18/30 Thirty Thankful Days - technology

Day 18/30 of Thirty Thankful Days!


I don't know why it's a little bit hard to think of something I'm thankful for each day to write on here. It's usually around 11pm at night before I get a post out because it usually takes me the whole day to think of something specific to be thankful for..something that's a little original, or something that doesn't get the normal spotlight. I have however, mentioned before how I am enjoying this experiment. It makes me more aware of the things I am/should be thankful for. If I think all day about what I can write, then I feel like I am more grateful or at least trying to recognize the good things in my life that I should be thankful for.

So today, I am thankful for technology. I know there is a lot of bad that can come from technology, if you abuse it and are looking for the wrong things (plus a lot of drama that could be avoided but oh well haha), but I also know a lot of good can come from it. We were able to attend a re-dedication for the Boise, Idaho Temple through broadcast. There were 3 different sessions and also different speakers for each session, minus Elder Bednar's and President Monson's being the same. I had never been to a dedication so it was a neat experience. During President Monson's talk, I felt the Spirit strongly and it testified to me that what I know and believe about this Church is true - that families can be sealed together forever and that Temple ordinances are important for ourselves and our beloved dead.

I'm also thankful for technology so that I can communicate with my family in Alaska and Colorado. I'm thankful for the many wonderful things you can learn on the internet, and how you can talk to someone hundreds of miles away, through a simple phone call. It's miraculous. Who would have thought a 100 years ago we'd be here, doing this today? Blogging about what we're thankful for? It's amazing!


To express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven. - President Monson

17/30 Thirty Thankful Days - Family Trips and Safety

Day 17/30 of Thirty Thankful Days!

Today I am thankful for fun spontaneous family trips and for the Lord's protection, once again in my life. Tonight we went to Fred Meyer and Walmart out in Idaho Falls. They are stores that are A LOT bigger than the ones in Rexburg. It was nice to be in an actual department store that takes longer than 5 minutes to circle the whole thing ;). Okay, the Walmart in Rexburg isn't that small, but still.

We wanted to go to FM to look at and compare Christmas tree prices. But to our dismay, we found there were even less trees than in Rexburg, and more expensive. So we walked the aisles of the Christmas section. We also saw this HUGE fluffy dog I wanted to get Lydia sooo bad. She was in love with it - gave it the biggest hug with the widest smile accompanying it. But I wasn't in love with the price! 30-40 bucks! Oyy.. I hope Christmas doesn't get too expensive this year haha (even though I know it's not about gifts).. but I do have a hard time controlling myself when it comes to giving in to Lydia. She is soo easy to buy things for! Good thing Jonathan was there. She would have loved it!

After that we went to Walmart, picked out our tree, got diapers/wipes and looked at the carseats. When I got her carseat from my SIL I didn't have a manual so I was putting it together to the best of my knowledge of where I thought the straps went/should connect. Anyway, long story short, I messed up. I noticed her straps became loose as we were getting her strapped in before leave FM. I thought we needed a new carseat because I couldn't figure out to get them tight again in a more secure way (it's kind of complicated to explain). We spent a good 20 minutes looking at EVERY detail of the carseats in the store, making sure I could put it together correctly and to see if we really did need to get one or if the old one worked. Needless to say, when we came home and checked the old one, the one we had was built the same way, I just didn't know I was supposed to connect the straps in the back somewhere else. I am so so so thankful the Lord watched over us this week as we went driving about, even if it was just 5 minutes to pick up Jonathan. I feel so incredibly guilty that I put her in danger. You don't know how bad I feel/felt. :( Ugh, I wish I had known. I am thankful nothing has happened. I am just glad her seat is all installed good now. This is just another example of the Lord's mercy in protecting us and giving me another chance.



To express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven. - President Monson

Guest Post: Heather's Story

I got an email from this woman, Heather, whom I had never met before. She asked if I would let her guest post on my blog about her cancer-survivor story. I have never done a guest post before, but I figure this was a worthy cause. Who knows? It could save a life.

Here is Heather's story.

My Mesothelioma Story-

When you hear these three words, "You have cancer" your entire outlook changes, and you develop fear. That phrase is comprised of words most people never want to hear. Unfortunately, for me, I heard these three words at a time when my life was going well. I had just given birth to a baby three and one-half months prior to my diagnosis of pleural mesothelioma. If you are not familiar, this cancer is caused by inhalation of asbestos into the lungs.

I am frequently asked, “Asbestos? Isn’t that banned?” That’s what most people think. Unfortunately, the risk of exposure of asbestos still exists. The second question I am frequently asked is, “Where were you exposed?” I unfortunately came into contact with asbestos through secondary exposure. The microscopic particles were on my dad’s clothes after he worked in construction sanding, mudding and drywall taping.

My diagnosis was not like other people’s diagnosis. I was 36 and much younger than other people being diagnosed with mesothelioma. Typical mesothelioma patients were older and male. These patients also worked in trades such as plumbing, heating and the military. They also were exposed to asbestos as electricians and mechanics.

Women were exposed through their husbands’ laundry and by working in asbestos-laden schools. When they did the laundry, the asbestos was released into the air and was inhaled.

I remember feeling as though I was all alone when I was diagnosed. There were really no other women that I knew of who had mesothelioma. Sadly, I was the beginning of an epidemic or an alarming trend of young people developing mesothelioma, but how were they becoming exposed? It’s sad, but children were exposed in ways that they would never have expected. Like me, it may have happened after something like they wore their dad’s jacket to feed the rabbits. Children were also exposed in other circumstances, such as when they gave their fathers hugs after the father had been installing insulation around pipes.

It’s really so sad.. people that young should be focusing on getting married, landing a new job or getting pregnant. Instead, people in their twenties and thirties are focused on mesothelioma treatments. Luckily, the treatments are advancing and becoming more effective. Now, more people are surviving after a mesothelioma diagnosis.

When you hear that you have cancer, it is absolutely devastating, but you can’t give up. I continue to remain hopeful that life will improve after my mesothelioma diagnosis. The mesothelioma community helps a lot. I share my victories with them. I also cry with them when the treatment or life isn’t going as planned. I am not sure what I would do without my support group.

Why do I share my story and do what I do? Basically, I do it to create awareness. When people are not aware, they make misinformed decisions. I want to be an instrument of change. Sharing is the first component of being an instrument of change. By sharing my story with others, I hope to help someone who may be living in fear after their diagnosis and help them do what is right.

 

I had never heard of Mesothelioma before, until she contacted me. I am sure many others out there have never heard of it either. Luckily, it is 100%  preventable if you're careful. If you want to learn more about this cancer or read more about Heather's survival story or her journey, check out the link. 

www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/heather