Parables of the Lost and Found
In the parables in Luke 15, the sheep wanders, the piece of silver is lost, and the prodigal son wastes his inheritance in riotous living. But the shepherd searches the wilderness, the woman sweeps the house, and the forgiving father watches for his son’s return, ready with a warm welcome home.
These parables remind us that as the Savior’s undershepherds, we have the responsibility to help others—to heed the call from President Thomas S. Monson to “reach out and rescue those who have fallen by the wayside, that not one precious soul will be lost.”
You're probably wondering why I have this up. It was a link to the first thing I saw on the lds.org website, something that's been on my mind for a long time. Often times I see my younger brother posting things he shouldn't say to his friends on facebook. And when I try to confront him and tell him he probably shouldn't, he tells me what my mother always told me.. to not try to force my opinions on others, but to lead by example.. to not judge. I hate that stupid phrase "you shouldn't judge." What I am really feeling inside is not the urge to judge, but rather concern! Concern for the welfare of my own family members and the salvation of their souls! The same kind of concern you read about in the Book of Mormon by the prophets and people who care about others from the bottom of their heart.
My mother always said that she has to let her kids do what they want, make whatever choices they can and learn from experience, in hope that they will someday turn out good. Like, making all the bad choices now and then repenting right before a mission is the right path? But it's not! Even counsel from the modern day Apostles have said so, such as Elder Christofferson in his talk Moral Discipline.
How is letting them do what they want really leading by example? I honor, love, and respect my mother a lot for raising us. But I wish she didn't give up on her kids so easily. Consequences for wrong actions should have been more thoroughly dealt with. Of course, there are always future consequences for bad choices, I'm not excusing that, but consequences for things well known in the house that are going on that shouldn't be should have been enforced.
My brother also told me that everyone knows their own actions and when they are choosing good or bad. And that I should leave the preaching to the Prophets. I don't preach. In my mind I'm trying to do what the Savior wants.. in helping others with their salvation, reaching out and rescuing, especially before it's too late.
I've always had this problem in my family. I've studied the gospel principles..and in my heart and mind I know what is right, so I feel more accountable and I try to follow what I know and what my conscience (or the Holy Ghost) tells me what is right. So I stick up for it. But unfortunately, it wasn't very popular in my family and when I'd try to turn off a bad movie or tv show I was always told "here comes perfect Anna again. We'll just have to watch it while she's gone." That was always very hurtful to me me because I'm not perfect, I know I'm not, I just try my best for what I know and feel accountable for, choosing the right action over the wrong one. It's the little things, the little [good] choices we make each day that make us who we are and what we will become. And I know I don't make consistently right decisions every time, I wish I did. But I try my best to reconcile my wrong and make things better, especially if I don't feel at ease.
Me and Jonathan were also talking about this. Jesus Christ didn't pay for everyone's sins so we can make as many as we possibly can and then repent later when we feel like it. We shouldn't let Him pay in vain! God's not on our time, we're on His! We came to earth to make choices, yes.. but GOOD ones! My brother said he felt that I was "more worthy" and that I need to learn humility. That is true, I probably do need to be more humble. But I am no more worthy than anybody else! Everyone has the exact same potential of being a good person, you just have to work at it. Being good, doesn't always come easy especially when there is such opposition coming towards you.
I guess my overall question is.. how do you help rescue the ones you love, without offending them? Or is the offense inevitable? Is it for their own good? Or does it just drive them further away? I know we all have to gain a testimony of the truth and of the divinity of the Atonement and for what Jesus Christ really did for us, for ourselves. Gain an appreciation for everything we have, for Heavenly Father, for our own lives and the things we've been given. I know I wasn't always at this point of spirituality that I am now, I'll admit. But if I had had someone there helping me along the way, I'm sure it wouldn't have taken so long to find what I now, truly enjoy. If there are any suggestions out there, or (positive) comments (I'm tired of negative ones I tend to always find on facebook) I'd like to hear them. Once again, I love my family to death.. I just don't always agree with how they live their lives..and it's hard to be an example when you're over 2,000 miles away.
If you did have the patience to read this, I would appreciate a comment.
Anna my dear, I hear ya. I've been called preachy by family, friends, I've been called judgemental, and its never meant in a judgemental way. So again, I hear ya.
ReplyDeleteSomething I learned though through some tough trials and some humbling people who had been through other tough trials, is to "preach" differently. lol. To preach with love coming across in our message, we don't want to make people feel singled out like "Your dooing this wrong and need to change." What I've found helpful is to use less "you" statements and more "I" statements. (Like I just did in saying this is what I have found helpful"
Example: They watch a movie they shouldn't, and they know they shouldn't. instead of "You shouldn't watch this" (Cuz like andrew said, they already know they shouldn't) say "This makes me uncomfortable." They love you and don't want to make you uncomfortable and then they think about why does it make you uncomfortable, and hopefully through consistence and time, their attutude will naturally change. Lead by example-"This makes me uncomfortable" is being an example. Saying "Thats bad and you should stop" is not being an example.
Another Idea: Love them just as they are. Yeah, they aren't living as good as they could be. It saddening to see them miss out on the joys of righteous living. But, its not your burden to bear. Just love them, and forgive them. They will be accountable. I know what you mean by saying that Christ didn't suffer so they can repent when its convenient. Thats 100 Percent true. Thing to think about though, is that whatever sins they do commit, if they change their heart, Christ will forgive freely. They will be accountable in that repentance process for everything they do-so, its between them and Christ and Heavenly Father, not you. Its hard to see them make choices that cause needless heartache, or suffering on the part of the savior, but the savior loves them so much he did it for them, that they can try and try again. Repentance and heart change isn't a one time deal, its a daily deal for the best of us. Their salvation is important to you, but not so important to you as is your duty to love them even in their sins.
Funny thing is, it's not really Andrew who I was having the convo with, but my younger brother haha. And I agree with you on the way we present our message to another person. I guess it's just something I struggle with cause I've never gotten it right. It's hard to remember that when you're in the moment and you just want them to make the right choice. My mom has said that before as well. But thanks, I like your examples.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know what you mean about forgiving. And letting it be between them and Christ. I guess it's just hard when you want to help, but it doesn't really help. I would feel 100% happy if I could see them turn their lives around. I wouldn't hold anything against them. It'd be amazing. I still love them, of course. I just don't agree with everything they do. And I know we're all struggling and on our different paths of spirituality.. it's taken me a while to understand or grasp that.. although sometimes it feels like we're not progressing, but like you said, just have to love them and let them live how they want I guess.
Thanks for your suggestions and comments.
You know what I've found helpful when I feel like nothing I do or say is making an impact? I turn the problem over to my Heavenly Father, I let someone who loves my friend better than I do, perfect love,help them with their struggles. And then I continue to live the gospel and love my friend. Sometimes that's all you can do. :)
ReplyDelete