My lil happy Munchkin is back!

I just had the best evening.

The past few days leading up to Monday were kind of miserable for Baby. With this hot Rexburg heat she developed a heat rash over her chest/tummy/neck/head over last week/the weekend. Needless to say, my happy baby was pretty emo and not herself for a few days. Luckily, with some good advice from friends, I baby powdered her chest up, and the next day her skin was lookin' good! And thankfully, her sweet attitude returned to normal, as well, and only got sweeter in the days following.

One thing I do enjoy while she is sick (not the fact that she is sick, but..) is that she doesn't mind cuddling and rocking in the recliner with me. She is not a cuddler, so when she curls up in my arms and lets me rock her, it takes me back to those good o'l days of newborn-ness, where she had no choice BUT to cuddle! mwahaha!

Anyway, I guess I am one spoiled mama, but I get soo frustrated when Baby's not her normal self. It just throws our whole days off. She gets frustrated and whiney and it makes it harder for me to do my job as happy mama and I get frustrated that nothing I do pleases her. Not that I expect every day to be easy, but it helps when we're happy. These are the best days of our life, right? I want all of her memories of baby days to be happy ones. (Yes, I know I'm living in my own lil bubble!)

So, having my sweetie-pie, "ney-nah" saying, screaming in excitement, giggling-'til-she-can't-breathe baby back, we've been having soooo much fun. Seriously! Yes, I said "we've" as in, me too! I do have fun with her. Today was a blast. Our great day kind of started earlier when we were laying in bed and I showed her a picture (the one at the very bottom) of me kissing her and I said, "Look, it's Mommy kissing the Baby Girl." and then she would lean in and give me a wet slobbery kiss, over and over. It was super precious. I love Baby time.

But later, after dinner, when Jonathan was gone and we were all alone, I kept growling at her and making silly noises and she was just giggling away! Then I would sneak around on my hands and knees around the recliner. She thought I was going one way, and as she'd start to follow, I'd meet her back on the other side and say "getcha!" without her knowing I was even there and she'd go into a giggling fit! She loved being "scared." Oh, we had such a fun time. I must've gone around the chair at least 15 times. Then we laid on our backs in front of the fan and she would crawl on my tummy and give it hugs. She is the sweetest thing. 

I definitely will not take for granted my happy baby any more.

I was talking with a friend about our babies and our good and bad moments, and she mentioned how when she struggles all night with her baby, which doesn't happen very often, she thinks of other mothers who have to go through that every single night. It was very humbling for us, because when we have children who are relatively easy to raise, it's easy to forget about the moms who go through tough nights (and days, consecutively) all the time. I have a few friends with fairly new babies who are still trying to get some sleep (and trying to function) while baby-raisin' and sometimes they feel like failures and want to give up. Sometimes it's so hard to not get discouraged and want to just skip past this distressful time.

In a way, I think they're stronger than most moms because their work is harder. And the work just never ends. But you strong moms try your best, because you know the result is worth it, even if the present experience is exhausting and sometimes.. heartbreaking. I wrote a post similar to this topic about raising human beings, last month.

The other day Jonathan and I discussed how looking back now, it's so very hard to remember Lydia as a newborn. I look at new babies now and get kinda sad that I can't remember every perfect detail about her that I thought I would totally remember, back then. And I so wish I could. All I have are pictures and faded memories. (I'm also thankful I blog.. glad I wrote it down somewhere.) It seems that the older she gets, the memories of toddlering seem to push newborn memories out of the way. With each tiny accomplishment, those precious first memories seem to dissapate, and I wish I could stop it and remember forever. Every detail. Mom's hold on to every tiny moment. Here's a quote that accurately describes how fast wee ones grow:

"The baby you hold in your arms will grow quickly as the sunrise and the sunset of the rushing days." - Pres. Hinckley

I'd like to end with what President Gordon B. Hinckley said; it couldn't be more perfectly stated. I encourage you to read the whole thing. In his 2000 General Relief Society Conference address called Your Greatest Challenge, Mothers, he says:

"You have nothing in this world more precious than your children. When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary, when you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life, nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out. It will not be the money you have made. It will not be the cars you have owned. It will not be the large house in which you live. The searing question that will cross your mind again and again will be, How well have my children done?

If the answer is that they have done very well, then your happiness will be complete. If they have done less than well, then no other satisfaction can compensate for your loss."

A Long, Long Time Ago....

After a weekend (or what seems like the whole week?) of junk and party food, it felt so nice to sit down to a bowl of steamed veggies tonight. Lydia thought so too, at first. She would pick up the veggies like she always does, and instead of putting it up to her mouth, she'd drop it off the side of her tray. Oh, crap. Time to go on a junk food fast, especially for her so I can get my good eater back! Yes yes, I know it's my fault. We both need to will do better.

Well, we've had a busy great weekend! It is actually Jonathan's birthday today, but we had decided to throw him a birthday party on Friday. We had a great turn out. At least 20+ people showed up. It was da-da da-daaaaa ... STAR WARS themed!

Haha, so funny story. For MYYY birthday, we went out to Buffalo Wild Wings (yum!) and I got Tangled and two STAR WARS cookbooks!..wait..what?? ..Jonathan's reasoning for those were, "I like Star Wars, and you like to bake, so it's a win win"........................ I'm thoroughly convinced he bought those just so I could make the treats from them for HIS party! Just kidding.. kinda ;)

Anyway, here are some pictures of the partay..

I got the idea off a birthday blog from pinterest to do light saber cupcakes. But they had only one. I decided with so many people it'd be a good idea to make two and cross them, like they're in a fight. I called them Killer Cupcakes

Then you have the WOOKIE COOKIES (actually way better than chocolate chip cookies, although that's basically how you make them, but with more brown sugar than white, and some cinnamon. So yummy. And they actually stay "CHEWY!" Those geniuses.) they're on the right of the pic below.

You have WATTO-MELONS (above) ... from that guy named Watto who sells Anakin to Qui-Gon. This whole time I thought his name was Guato... for some reason. Amazing what you learn from movies with the subtitles on. {NO we're not old, we just usually watch movies when Lydia's already asleep and need to be quiet. :)}

HAN-BURGERS, need I say more?? Yes, I will. These weren't your average hamburgers. They were rubbed with Worcestershire sauce and salt and pepper. Mmm..they were actually really divine.

TIE FIGHTER TIES! (basically lil smokies with crecsants wrapped around them in an X shape. They were devoured in minutes.)

and YODA SODA (thankfully Whitney was there to help..cause the recipe only calls for ingredients for 1 serving.. and we had to make enough for 25ish! You can see our totally thrilled faces).

and.. I just look tired.

Some of the gifts he got were:

I got him the Star Wars Trilogy in DVD

A sweet Batman vs Bane shirt, Flamin' hot cheetos, and an Avengers poster from his best bud Jeff and his gf Jocelyn.

Jeff and Jocelyn

Our friends Hannah and LJ got him Star Wars cups and the 3rd SW movie along with a Yoda Jedi Master ribbon. Can't forget the ribbon.

He got a nice card and some mula from our great friends and neighbors Jared and Whitney. Seriously, they're like the best neighbors we've ever had. Always so helpful.

A little Darth Maul action figure to go along with his other dolls toys we have laying around, from Anthony and Kim.

and Mormon Doctrine by Bruce R. McConkie from his brother, Alex.

(I told Jonathan next year he is definitely throwing me a birthday party. And it's going to be TANGLED themed.. and he's going to put it together AND make all the food...... Even if all we have is..HAZELNUT SOUP!  Haha! because that is not fair! I want a party!! And that was HARD work!)

Anyway, it was a blast. After everyone but Tony and Kim left, Gustav came back and we all watched A New Hope. Then went to bed. I.was.exhausted. And that's an understatement. Putting a party together is no easy task. And I getta do it again in a few weeks for Lydia when my in-laws come! Hooray!

Here are some pics of the party. We didn't get everyone though.

Tony's friend, Tony, and Kim.

Andrea! Her hubby Gustav was out grilling. :)

Our neighbors, the Bair's!

Whitney, and my Alaskan friends Kristen and Katie!
And Lydia and Henry (Andrea's baby) playing FOOTSIE! I knew they were in love!! :D

 

We were gonna pretend to kiss.. but that kind of backfired. And I love Tiki's priceless face.
Unfortunately, she looks so hot. It was at least 80+ degrees in there.

Jared, Whitney, Tiki, James, and Tony's friend Salinas? Not sure how to spell his name.

Hannah, Becca and me

Tried to get a picture of the Jedi Baby Master, but she was pretty tired, and her rash was getting pretty bad by then.
We all just wanted to go to sleep!

THE END!

Compassion through Affliction

So, I was going through old emails on my old email account which I don't use anymore, and came across this essay I wrote for my English teacher at the UAF in 2010. I took Academic Writing for Social/Natural Sciences. It sounded completely boring when I first signed up. Heck, I thought we'd be writing about nature and mountains and, like, clouds and stuff. Bleh. 

Luckily, I had a bomb teacher (the same one I wrote about my dad for). I can't remember his reasoning behind why I wrote what I did for this one. Usually we had class discussion and then he came up with a topic and we had to write something that related to it, but he also didn't mind if, throughout the process of us writing, it changed completely from what we started from. And I liked the fact that he let us write in first person narratives, something I hadn't been used to for a while. I really liked that class.

My teacher was actually really impressed with this piece and during our essay conference (we had one after each essay assignment) he asked me if he could use it to present to the Board of English something somethings. Say what?! I can't remember what they were called but he happened to like it and wanted to show them that this class could be really diverse in what students write about, and that we don't have to just write about clouds science.. (okay I made that last part up, but he said something similar to that).

source

So, here goes. PS: It's all a true story, even if I don't talk much about it. My problem has gotten better, but it's not completely gone. And it has a name - eosinophilicgastroenteritis. Nope, I did not make that up.

Compassion through Affliction

                Again. I am at the doctor's again. This time it’s another office, a different doctor. I’m trying to get a second opinion, or maybe it’s the third or fourth, I’ve lost track. The barium swallow, two upper endoscopies, stomach emptying study, an ultrasound, antibiotics for H. Pylori bacteria,  a HIDA scan on my gall bladder, X-rays, blood tests, anti-inflammatory steroid inhaler. Test, after test, after test and what do they find? Normal. All these tests, procedures, and pills I have taken or have undergone and all return back with little to no results indicating a problem or being able to find a solution.
                For over a year and a half I have had a problem where I regurgitate my food. My stomach will cause me to randomly spit up mouthfuls of food at a time. Some called it sporadic vomiting, but nobody could tell me why. It can last up to all day long, at school or work or even driving. After many tests performed and a good amount of drugs swallowed, I was about ready to give up. It seemed as though nothing I tried worked. It wasn’t until almost ten months later that I found out I am allergic to milk, wheat, and egg-whites that cause an inflammatory response and trigger my stomach to randomly throw up food that contain those ingredients. To my dismay, when I was told I was allergic, the provider who handed me that information didn’t offer a plan of action, so it was to my sole ability to figure out what I was going to eat. A difficult task, when so many of those ingredients are in almost everything I buy.
              Eventually I talked to a nutritionist that put me on an “intensive-cleanse” diet to help figure out what my stomach could and couldn’t handle and to see if sooner or later I could tolerate certain foods. I had high hopes in this diet, but unfortunately refraining from those foods didn’t matter. I was still throwing up. To this day, I still fight this problem. In many ways, I don’t have control over my own body.

                To get a clearer picture of where I first began, I suppose I would have to provide a background of my office visits. I remember my first one clearly. She was a female doctor, with the intent to diagnose and pass me on as any other eighteen year-old girl who throws up to lose weight, with bulimia. By the end of the second visit, I was thoroughly convinced I needed to see someone else. Someone else who believed in my cause and truly wanted to help me, instead of jump to false conclusions, even after an honest testimonial. I always wondered why she could not just believe I was telling the truth. Was my health issue so far off that it did not seem conceivable to her? Because of the way she treated me, I felt like I could not trust her, nor did I feel like accepting any information she had to offer. From then on I saw other doctors who provided me with their opinions, referred me to gastroenterologists – doctors that specialize in the digestive system - made appointments with more doctors for more opinions and different tests. Needless to say, I did not enjoy the hop-around or the burning hole in my wallet.
                I personally did not know the history of any of the doctors I was treated by, however, I do believe that by going through health problems of their own, providers can relate better to their patients. This is important because a doctor can feel more empathy towards the people they’re caring for because they know the process, the pain, and the waiting. The person they treat is really Mrs. Jones – a person with a name, instead of “Room 4: broken leg.” They know what Mrs. Jones feels like, because they’ve been Mrs. Jones.
                Although professional ethics say doctors should not disclose their personal health information to their patients, Dr. Annie Brewster, a Boston internist, confides with her patient who had just been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, by telling her that she, too, has the same disease.  When her patient received the news, her immediate words were, “I am so young. There was so much I wanted to do. I wanted to have a family.” Brewster, in efforts to try to console the woman, crossed the line between patient and doctor, telling her, “I have the same disease…I have four kids. I still ski, run, play lacrosse and work as a doctor. I am healthy and energetic. There is tremendous variability in how people do and some people do very well. It is the unknown that is scary.”

                I believe Dr. Brewster did a favor to the woman by telling her that she could relate to her problem, and that there is still hope in the future for a good life. If one person has succeeded, that provides encouragement and gives a patient something to hang on to. As a patient many times myself, I have found in my own mind the criticizing idea that the doctor has no idea what I’m going through, that the person dressed in a white coat does not possess human vulnerabilities and can feel what I feel. It is at those times, however, when patients need to remember that doctors are human, just like the rest of us.
                As I watch the Certified Medical Assistant at the UAF Health Center bring patients back and have a genuine concern for their welfare, I am reminded of her story which influences her life. She has been diagnosed with Graves’ disease, a thyroid disorder which often causes the thyroid gland to enlarge as well as the eyes to swell and the space between the eyelids to widen. She has told me of the countless times where her eye was in so much pain she once told the doctor to remove it completely to put an end to the sharp agony. Instead, they injected her eye with steroids every so often to temporarily relieve her pain. Her story, like mine, included doctor hopping and countless bills before a final diagnosis and proper treatment. The way I see her treat people indicates to me her experience with her past has enabled her to relate better with patients today.
                My mother, like myself, has gone through many of her own illnesses and still battles them. When asked why it could be beneficial for a patient-doctor relationship if the doctor had undergone their own sicknesses before, my mother responded, “Not only is it nice to speak to someone who knows what they’re talking about, but it is also reassuring when a doctor is actually…compassionate. Compassionate because they’ve been down that road and if it’s specific to the problem their patient has it’s nice to hear what they did to treat it or what their options were.” It is comforting to me to know that a person in society who holds a high authoritative position still has feelings.
                As a medical assistant in training, I find myself sharing my experiences with patients I come in to contact with as to things pertaining from urinary tract infections to muscular pains in the back and spine that I had corrected by a chiropractor. I feel that by expressing my personal history, a patient can feel relaxed and know that they’re not alone.
                Trials are always humbling, and when a person has truly tasted pain and knows what it feels like to be hurting, the want of helping someone else not feel that pain is empowering. I myself, personally, have felt compassion towards others mainly because I’ve gone through this sickness for so long, which has helped me become a more effective medical assistant when dealing with the emotions of another. That connection between the healer and the afflicted is strong, and the easier it is to relate to the patient, the more positive the result.

The Miracle Pill & Falling Asleep in the Shower

I would just have to advocate for teething tablets! I call them the miracle pill for Baby. I can usually never tell when she's teething, besides a bad night's sleep. And last night was pretty bad. 

But let me back up, yesterday was a pretty full day. We had lots going on and when we finally came home I decided to crash. Unfortunately, ever since having a baby I'm always catching up on sleep, so no matter how much I get, I'm always tired. Jonathan ended up waking me from my slumber to skype a bit with his family around 10, which lasted about 3 minutes for me haha. I was still really tired but I put Lydia to bed and then around 11 Jonathan was heading to bed. I wanted to climb back in too but I had to finish his father's day gift. I thought I was going to get to go (back) to sleep before midnight, for once, but it took longer than expected to finish up. And then I was wide awake. Drat.

Lydia actually woke up around 1 to eat, so I fed her and put her back down and finished up completely. I then laid in bed for an hour and a half. I still could not go back to sleep. I finally doze off around 230/3 and was awoken by Baby crying at 4:45. I fed her and she bit me. I said ow really loud because it hurt and woke me up. She started fussing (she is kind of a sensitive baby when it comes to hurting other peoples' feelings), so I switched her to the other side hoping she'd fall back asleep so I could put her in her crib and sleep in til 9 before I got up for church. So while I'm half asleep, relaxed, she bit me again! This time I said ow loudly and flicked her mouth! That got her really going, but I hate being bitten. It makes me so nervous to nurse for future feedings. She was screaming and there was no way I was going to nurse her again to get her to calm down. So, here we were, all awake by 6am this morning. Lovely.

Baby was really fussy, and kind of drooly, so I put 2 and 2 together and gave her some teething tablets. They worked like a charm. She was already getting pretty sleepy come 8 o' clock but she needed a bath badly before church. So I had her take a shower with me.

and then.. she fell...asleep. 

in the shower. Ha!

Talk about tired. She just kinda layed on my shoulder and I finished rinsing her and we got out. As if maneuvering out of the shower with a baby awake is hard enough, try keeping one asleep! But, I successfully put a diaper and and diaper cover on and ALMOST got her dress on, when she woke up right as I was trying to get it over her face and freaked out. It was still the cutest thing ever. She easily went back to sleep after she was dressed. That's what you get, sleepy head, when you wake up at 5! Unfortunately for me, I didn't get to take a nap until 7PM!

After our friends left from dinner, Baby started getting reeeeally cranky. And I mean really cranky. I would feed her and then go to put her down by Jonathan and she'd start bawling! With tears and everything. So, I gave her some more tablets and then called my dad and within 10 minutes she was a super happy baby, talking away in her precious baby gibberish. Those tablets are amazing. 

Anyway, sorry for the long story, but I wanted a reason to put up the pictures! She never ceases to amaze me!

Hope we have a tooth soon! That'll make 8!

Father's Day... Week

What a fun week we've had! Lots of things going on.

First, for Family Home Evening on Monday we had it centered around the fathers in our lives. We watched this video. It made me tear up at times. It's amazing how much love this father has for his wife and his kids, especially his son. It's inspiring to all parents.

 http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/mormon-messages?lang=eng&start=1&end=12&order=alpha#2009-06-25-a-father-indeed

And we talked about how our fathers have made an impact in our lives. We wrote "What I love most about my Dad" notes and I put them in the packages I sent to my dad and his dad. Jonathan ended up getting the same gift, from Lydia, ironically. ;)

"I'm so glad when Daddy comes home! Glad as I can be!!
 Clap my hands and shout for joy and climb upon his knee!"

 The words are from a primary song which says, "put my arms around his neck, hug him tight like this! Pat his cheeks and give him what? A great big KISS!"  Luckily, all the packages got to our dads yesterday, right in time!

I found this cute idea on Pinterest (what else did we do before that came along?) and this blog. I super-glued the ribbon around the jar and added kisses for a yummy treat. Unfortunately I couldn't resize the saying, so it's a bit bigger than my jar, but oh well! :)

 

Tuesday, I had a run in with the cops. ... No, really. Jonathan was at work and Baby and I had just started watching Anastasia around 9:30pm, when I heard a lot of loud footsteps going up to our upstairs neighbors, followed by really loud banging on their door. I wrote it off as nothing, until during "Once Upon a December" -haha don't judge- I got 5 LOUD knocks on my door! I was a bit frightened because I have never had police come to my home before. I didn't even hear sirens. So I asked who it was since I don't have a peephole and he said, "Police!" Hearing that I was even more shocked as I opened the door and he told me there was a fire upstairs. I already had Baby in my arms so I slipped on shoes and we walked over to the parking lot and met our other neighbors. Apparently, the neighbors across saw gray smoke coming from the apt above and to the right of us. They knew where the spare key was so they opened the door to lots of smoke. The residents weren't home, so they ended up calling 911. Most of us are married/have families, but that apartment belongs to 2 single guys who accidentally left their frying pan on which burned eggs. It was funny (not really, it could have been dangerous!) 'cause I had heard faint beeping around 8 and just thought it was kind of annoying, so I shut my windows to not hear it anymore. It didn't even occur to me that it could have been a fire alarm. Luckily, no one was harmed and the only damage was a stinky lingering smell after they fanned the room. But, we had at least 2 fire trucks and 5-6 cop cars show up (What else is Rexburg police supposed to do on a Tuesday night? So everyone was there! haha)

 I just laugh 'cause Jonathan wants to be a state trooper/law enforcement/detective/FBI person in the future - whichever one, who knows what the future holds - and so he always watches Cold Case Files, Disorderly Conduct, Alaska State Troopers and Cops on Netflix, yet he misses out on this little experience by one hour haha. I'm just really glad everyone and everything was okay. 

Yesterday I went home teaching with Jonathan and I really loved the little spiritual thought he gave. He had each of us (us and the couple) say what we've learned or what we love most about our father-in-law. I thought that was a neat twist, because it's not often you think about their dad and what they mean to you for Father's Day. Jonathan has a great love for my dad. He's a hard worker, who tries to magnify his calling at Church, help the missionaries, and does his best for his family. He is a good example to Jonathan. And I just love Jonathan's dad. He has so much love for everyone he meets. He's always willing to help anyone and make them feel more comfortable. He has such a happy cheerful attitude, and I can always feel the Spirit when I'm around him. His whole person exemplifies the light of Christ. We love love love our dads!

I can't remember much else during the week, but I was busy preparing my Father's Day gift for Jonathan. I had a lot of fun putting it together, and of course, found it on Pinterest. I have a little category just for things he would love, which include things that have to do with Star Wars, the Avengers, and just other cute ideas for married couples. Here's what I gave him.

I call it a Man Basket

I got the basket idea from here and the idea for the candy bar love notes here.

I tailored my basket to things Jonathan would like. He's a big sports fanatic and loves buying songs off iTunes.

 The basket included a football, $15 iTunes giftcard, jerky, gum, and candy. I also wrote him a love letter. When we were dating long-distance, we wrote a lot of letters among the other forms of technological communication. So love-letters are kind of our thing. :)

I came up with a few of the sayings myself, like, "My life would SUCK without you" for the tootsie pops, "You JERK mah chain!" for the Jerky, and "we were MENTO be together" for the Mentos. I had a lot of fun putting this together, and he had fun reading each of the notes. :)

He looks thrilled, I know.

It was a good Father's Day. Although I was super tired because I took a late nap yesterday, couldn't fall asleep later, and then with Baby's teething was up since 5:45am, I still had a good day... not that it's about me haha.. but I tried to make the day special, despite being exhausted. We invited the other members of the Elder's Quorum Presidency and their wives over for dinner and Jonathan made Texas Chili (dang it! I was gonna take a picture for a blog post..oops..looks like we'll have to make it again haha). Hannah brought yummy andes mint chocolate cupcakes that were sooo good. She found them off Pinterest, as well. Surprise surprise! :) After they left, I called my dad and wished him a Happy Father's Day. His package was a bit different because it had a birthday card with a $25 Regal Cinemas card as well as his FD kiss jar, because his birthday is coming up on the 22nd. He said he really enjoyed and appreciated that as well as the FD note about what I loved most about him. My dad really is a great dad. I told him he needs to go watch The Avengers, because he hasn't seen it yet. He told me with his gift card he will. :) 

I am so grateful to have such great, noble men and all these wonderful Fathers in my life! I'm truly blessed!

Happy Father's Day!

Love note, clean house; it's the little things

I stayed up pretty late last night. Again. Crocheting.. yep, I'm a Gramma..... minus the going to bed early part. Woops. But when I woke up this...afternoon.. (don't judge haha) I noticed our house was pretty dang clean! And I didn't even do it! I was pretty shocked.. and then I saw this lovely little note.

And it made my whole day.

Jonathan woke up, studied for his test, cleaned the whole apartment, and then went to work! This so made my day because usually every day I do the menial tasks around the house while he's gone. And when you do them so often, it rarely is something others wow about and thank because it's almost part of your routine. So, it is so nice when he cleans. Now, he does help around the house when I ask him, but this means so much more when he surprises me. Flowers are nice on occasions, but I prefer these sweet, thoughtful, acts of love.

It's the little things.

Thank you, hunny!

Abundantly Blessed

♪Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad. I missed you so bad. I missed you so, so bad.♪

smiling? ooor grinding her teeth... the latter.

So I had one of those moments today. 

I frequently play with Lydia throughout the day while Jonathan is gone at school. Even though I'm an adult, I still love getting down on all fours and growling at her belly before I pretend to bite into it, or sing along with the songs on her musical toys. But, rarely does she find herself sitting in my arms for longer than 2 minutes (unless we're watching Strawberry Shortcake on Netflix. A rather annoying show, besides the catchy theme song, but it's still fun. She rarely can sit through it either.) 

So that is why I cherish nursing time with her. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to wean her because she likes the stuff so darn much! (Sorry to gross ya out but, oh well!) But, at the same time, I get her in my arms and her attention for the whole 15..or usually 5 minutes that she gives me. And sometimes it's hard thinking that that precious time will be replaced by time drinking from a sippy cup full of cow's milk...Sigh.. little girl please don't grow up... Well, today, like usual, she ended up falling asleep while eating which gave me the perfect time to behold my little one. Usually when she falls asleep I quickly lay her down because she favors sleeping on her stomach and to me, I think that's more comfortable for her. And after I lay her down I go back to whatever I was doing previously.

 But, today I stared at her for a little bit, while she lay in my trusting arms and dreamt of what only babies dream of. I looked at her perfect face with soft tan cheeks, with her long, dark, slightly curly locks framing her head. I looked at her arms curled up to her chest and her clothes with the residue of snacks still there. I saw her feet crossed as they always are with her tiny painted pink toes. She was so calm and still. Just her chest moving up and down. A little ball of innocence.

And when I finally got up to put her into bed, I lingered at her crib with her in my arms and thought to myself, "Your birthday is in a few weeks. You're gonna be 1 year old." And I looked at her body, so much bigger than she had been only 346 days ago, and admired the handywork of life. The most resounding thought came into my mind - I made this. I made this! - I made this little creature. And as the days go by, life goes on. We grow, we learn, and we change constantly. I made this little creature and she is already (almost) one year into her life. Sometimes I look at myself and think.. I have a kid!? I'm only 22 and have a child. How did I get so lucky?

One of my favorite passages from the Book of Mormon is from 3^rd Nephi: 17 where when the Savior visited the American continents, he reached out to the children. It says "...And he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them. And when he had done this he wept...  And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones." Elder M. Russell Ballard has taught us the importance of the Savior's admonition to "Behold your little ones" when he said: "Notice that He didn't say 'glance at them' or 'casually observe them' or 'occasionally take a look in their general direction.' He said to behold them. To me that means that we should embrace them with our eyes and with our hearts; we should see and appreciate them for who they really are: spirit children of our Heavenly Father, with divine attributes.” 

Sometimes it's weird, because even though I know I'm her mom, when I simply look (not behold) at her, I still feel slightly disconnected because she has more of Jonathan's features, than mine (besides girl parts - Haha! - inside joke with Jonathan and Amy) and it's weird seeing myself, a white girl, with a little brown baby. You probably don't understand, and it's kind of weird to explain and I can't really explain it on paper. It just is what it is. I guess in my head, most kids resemble their parents for the most part. They're born in the likeness and image of their parents. I look like I adopted her from Mexico haha. Nevertheless, there's no doubt she knows who Mama is (she's basically attached at my leg all day), which is quite comforting. I never get upset at the thought that she wants to be near me all the time. I actually welcome that. I never get to miss a beat.

I find everything that Lydia does meaningful and entertaining. She is a free spirit, experiencing life for the first time. And it’s like I get to re-experience my childhood through her. You don’t remember much about childhood while you’re young and doing it, so being able to observe someone else all the time is quite fascinating. I get excited for all the new things she accomplishes, like lately, standing on her own. When I behold my little one I see her for all the potential and possibility of being a wonderful lady in the future. I see her for who she really is. I see her Divinity; she's a Daughter of a King.

 Whoever said being a parent is lame, was really misjudging this wonderful experience. 
 
Sometimes, I look at my life and wonder if part of it is a dream. I have a great marriage, a wonderful husband who makes me laugh and we have fun together. I had a perfect pregnancy, labor and delivery (seriously, not lying), and I have a perfect, healthy, smart baby. Sometimes I think it's too good to be true. How could I possibly be worthy enough to deserve somebody so perfect? Honestly? How did I get so lucky? I am not anyone perfect, I’m not incredibly smart or knowledgeable about the world, and I make my share of mistakes. I don't do everything I should or could for others and I could probably try harder to be a better friend. I need to work on my eating and exercise (and sleeping!) habits. And I need to better myself more in the Gospel. So sometimes I wonder how I deserve to be blessed so abundantly? 

Could you resist a face like that looking up at you every day?

Sometimes I wonder that if it's so great now, the hard times are just waiting ahead for me, and how will I be strong enough to face the storm? Especially when I've been enjoying the calm shallow waters for so long. 

The Lydia that I Love

I love how after Lydia eats something, or sucks on my sucker pop, she starts licking/smacking her lips. 

I love how she loves and hugs her white teddy bear called Baby Bear. She even kisses it (without the sound haha).

I love how she cherishes bath time. And will pull her legs up in sitting position (instead of standing) to make it harder for me to get her out.

I love how she'll eat anything and how her favorite snack is string cheese!

I love how when I'm cooking in the kitchen or putting my makeup on, she stands up holding on to my legs, making it so I can't move. She follows me everywhere.

I love how in the Book of Mormon scriptures stories book she can point out who Jesus is in the pictures.

I love how her feet point outwards like a ballerina's when she walks. 

I love that she fusses for Daddy as he is leaving in the morning and is excited when he gets home. 

I love how much she understands and how she communicates with her signs. She's so smart.

I love how when she wakes up in the morning and I start to nurse her, I close my eyes to catch some more sleep, and she makes little "m!" noises telling me to open my eyes to look at her. She just wants me to be awake.

I love how she can finally drink from her sippy cup and loves water. Boy, does she love water.

I love how she dances and headbangs to all kinds of music. It totally makes my day.

I love how she turns each side of her face so that I give butterfly kisses to each eye.

&

 I love how she giggled when I asked for (a lot of) "little baby kiss!" from her today.

Braided Garlic Spaghetti Bread...AKA.. Divine

Okay, so I've had a few people ask me for this recipe, and no wonder, because it's divine! I actually found it off Pinterest (go figure!) and I've made it at least 3 times. It's so good.. and fairly easy, if you plan and prepare it just right. Make sure you follow the instructions carefully..otherwise you'll get a big spaghetti mess. Still tastes good.. just isn't as pretty. :)

Braided Spaghetti Bread

Source: Stephanie from Rhodes Bake N Serve Blog
(side note - the source does have a lot of pictures to follow, if that makes it easier. And mine has never turned out quite as pretty as hers does, but oh well! Don't dismay if it doesn't turn out exactly like that. The outcome is always the same - delicious!)

Ingredients:

1 Loaf Rhodes Bread Dough OR 12 Rhodes Dinner Rolls, thawed to room temperature. It takes about 2-3 hours to thaw (Make sure you only THAW it, not let it rise... made that mistake the first time - it doesn't stretch as well.)
6 oz spaghetti, cooked 
1 cup thick spaghetti sauce (I just make regular spaghetti - with hamburger meat. Prepare it however you like)
8 oz mozzarella cheese, cut into 1/2 –inch cubes 
1 egg white 
Parmesan cheese
Parsley flakes
Garlic salt (makes it taste like spaghetti stuffed in garlic bread. How can you go wrong?)


1. Spray counter top with non-stick cooking spray or use parchment/wax paper. Take thawed loaf/rolls and using a rolling pin roll it into a 12X16inch rectangle on the greased area/parchment site. Cover the dough with plastic wrap and let it rest for 10-15 minutes.

2. While it is resting, cook your spaghetti noodles according to package instructions. Drain and let cool slightly.

3. Make your spaghetti, or just use the 1 cup of sauce - however you'd like it. (I've found that I when I make regular spaghetti I always end up making a lot more than can actually fit inside the bread, so I always have leftovers. It also makes it easier if you combine the noodles with the sauce/meat before you add it to the dough. When not combined, my sauce was really runny yesterday and ended up making my dough a tad soggy making it harder to transfer to the baking dish. Oops!)


4. Remove the wrap from the dough and place your spaghetti sauce/noodles combination about 4 inches lengthwise down the center of the dough. Top it with the mozzarella cheese cubs. 


5. I used a pizza cutter to cut the dough slices. Make the cuts 1 1/2 inches apart and within 1/2 inch to the filling.


6. Begin braiding by folding the top and bottom strips toward the filling. Then, braid left over right, right over left and tuck the last strip under the dough braid. (Or, just cover it as best as you can! Notice how my braided picture doesn't look much like the source's picture.)

7. Transfer to a greased baking dish or cookie sheet. 

And be careful so it doesn't end up like this! Haha click the link!

source

8. Brush braided dough with the egg white. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese, parsley flakes, and some garlic salt. 

9. Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes. 

10. Serve and enjoy! 

Happy Braiding!!

PS: So.. I just had an ah-ha moment! (Don't judge.) As I was sitting here comparing my recipe to the original's, I believe I have found out why mine doesn't turn out like how it's supposed to. I place my spaghetti on the dough up and down (height-wise) instead of left to right (lengthwise) and so my strips end up usually longer and skinnier and harder to braid and the more spaghetti you add, the less it covers. Now, I believe if placed the other way (as intended to by the directions AND PICTURES! forcryingoutloud - if only I could read directions..sigh..) it should turn out normal. Gonna have to try it the right way the 4th time around and maybe, I'll have it perfected.