Dear Baby Elena,

As you wiggle around with less and less room in my tummy, I am constantly reminded how you will be in my arms in only 7 short weeks. My how time flies. Although I am sadly getting more and more stretch marks on my tummy (which I dread) they are a constant reminder to be thankful that you are growing so big and healthy. Stretch marks are only a temporary affliction.

Some of your favorite things to do are wiggle around, kind of like you're surfing in amniotic fluid (well, what's left of it anyway), which makes my stomach look like it's belly dancing!

You also love to stretch your body parts right during quiet moments, like at church or sewing class, which makes me say "ow!" out loud - one, because it hurts, and two, because it's very surprising! You are so strong already, you little stinker! I secretly hope you're small like your sister though. Small babies are so much lighter to carry. Don't worry though, I'll love you no matter what.

I went through Lydia's photo albums the other day and it made me even more curious to know what you will look like. Will you look like me? Will you look like Dad? Will you look like Lydia? Who knows!

Sometimes my phone reminds me to write down a pregnancy memory, and I often feel like I don't have that many that stick out (oops, forgive me :) ) but there have been a few times where you've been quite the wiggle worm!

One time me and Daddy were laying on our sides with our stomachs touching. You must've really not liked that because you were so quiet and calm and then all of a sudden you kicked dad right in the stomach! It was pretty funny. Not only did I get kicked, but Dad did too!

Another time I was in sewing class trying to make some cute clothes for you when you all of a sudden stretched your foot/elbow/knee/hard body part soo far out at the top of my stomach. I've never had you do that before and it hurt a lot so I actually said "ow" out loud a few times as you did it. It was cool (in a weird way) 'cause I could actually feel your little body poke through me but at the same time, it kinda hurt. I don't even remember that happening with Lydia. Maybe you'll be stronger than your sis. I hope my daughters will always have a sense of strength within them and will be able to carry their heads high. I love you so much.

I think your theme song as of late is, "I want to Break Free" by Queen. My oh my do you wiggle sometimes! It often feel like you want to break out of my skin! Just 6 more weeks and 5 days. Keep it together little one! I would really appreciate it if you stayed in until 40 weeks. Please oh please, don't come early and don't come late. That would be extremely helpful.

Well, I love you and I think about you often. How could I not when you stretch my belly out more than I think is possible and your feet cozy on up in my rib cage? I am glad there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I love you

Mama

The Reason

So, I think I have figured it out. Sorry if this post happens to be super mushy. Oh well.


I've been thinking about Lydia the past few days, and why I really really love her. I mean, I love her in all sorts of different ways, but this reason I am about to tell you takes the cake.


Here is my number one reason why I love her.

She is just a really happy person. 

And she knows how to be happy..

 ...and her happiness makes me happy. It's very contagious. She is such an easy person to love.

On the days where I feel I am at my worst, I know she will still make me smile. She has the tendency to make a happy moment out of anything. Even when we are riding in the car, she makes me smile. Earlier in her car seat she was saying in a quiet voice, "la..la... lala.. la la.." and then all of a sudden said, "LA!" really loud. She repeated that pattern with a few other of her special baby words. They all made me laugh for some reason. Random, silly, and beautifully childlike.

While we were walking inside from our little snow storm, she was so thrilled to see so much snow, as the snow flurries were large. She laughed as they blew into her face and she repeated "lo!!" or "no!" back and forth followed by little squeals. It just always amazes me how she finds joy in the simple things.

Such a great reminder. 

Gosh, I love her so much! I love seeing her grow. She learns new things every day and I feel like I get to experience my childhood all over again vicariously through her.

She is quick to forgive and quick to be happy. Earlier today after her shower she was running back and forth between me and outside of the bedroom door in just her diaper. However, she got so excited as she was running to me she tripped and her cheek and nose hit my shin. She immediately started crying.. and I had a clue of how bad it felt because my shin actually hurt too as I said "owww" out loud. She cried in my arms as I tried to console her. After about a minute or two she calmed down (after I promised her milk) and she was happy again. After that she was content as she was jumping up and down on my bed. 

When she sees Jonathan leaving for work and we kiss goodbye, she says, "Gug!" for hug and then smiles as we give each other a hug. Then she comes over and wants a hug and kiss too. She'll also say, "love you, byyeee" when we leave. She is just so precious. I can't get over it. (Hay, you were forewarned about the mushyness).

Sometimes I allow her to fall back asleep in our bed when she wakes up in the morning and, even though I'm so bloody tired, I still lay awake and watch her sleep so peacefully. Just as I did when she was first born. She is so precious to me. 

She is such a sweet soul. It's funny,  at this moment she is playing with her toys right in front of me (and ripping out pages of her books! Got after her for that one haha) and she doesn't even know I'm writing about her. She doesn't know just how much I love her. I could never bare to lose her. I think of all the parents, or those wanting to be parents, who have lost their child due to illness, death, or have gone astray and it breaks my heart. I never want to lose her.

I cherish every hug around my neck and every sweet kiss she plants on my lips. I wouldn't trade those for the world. She is the light of my life.

She is my little sunshine.

Be Mine?

Woohoo! Finally a post!

 When I was single I didn't really care about Valentine's day. Not because I was bitter, but because I didn't really care either way if I got anything (even though my dad used to always get us girls/kids gifts! I miss that. You can always be your Dad's Valentine haha.) Not that I care a lot now, I mean, if hubby hadn't done anything for me I would still love him just the same. But the fact that he went out of his way for me is just so sweet, especially in his busy hectic schedule. It's nice having a holiday where you get to focus on how much you love someone, even if you love them 364 other days of the year.


So, here is how our sweet Valentine's Day went.

I got up early at 7, to put Lydia back into her bed. She woke up during the night and I was already asleep so Jonathan plopped her in our bed while he stayed up late working on homework. At about 7 I could tell she was wiggling around so much trying to find a comfy spot, often using my belly as a pillow haha. I finally asked her, "do you want to go to your bed?" and she says, "yeah".. so I pick her up, lay her down and she falls asleep within 10 seconds in her bed. I'm thinking.... I SHOULD'VE DONE THIS HOURS AGO! haha

Anyway, so I got up and ready and went to the store to get some strawberries (I think that's the thing I crave the most? I could seriously eat them all the time) and some other breakfast essentials and come home to make some Norwegian pancakes.

Then Jonathan helped our neighbors move, got ready for school and left by 1130. That gave me time to work on this little book I was making for him. Meanwhile, Mari had asked if I could come over to her place and hang out with Lydia, while Jonathan was at a "study group." So he picked us up and dropped us off. Lydia and I had fun at Mari's place, eating lots and lots of eggless cookie dough, mmm! Instead of going to his group, Jonathan came home and fixed a really early dinner for us (since he has night school/test to study for). It was so sweet. He opened the doors for me, had Frank Sinatra playing, candles lit, and sparkling cider. It was so thoughtful. Last year I made a special dinner for us, so it was nice having the tables turned. Lately, he's really tried to make different foods, and it's so nice especially on the days where I'm too tired to make dinner. And he likes inventing. So it works out!

My personal CHEF!

Mmm, salmon, halibut, corn on the cob, and veggies. Totally new leaf appropriate!

For gifts he got me a beautiful rose, a wonderful card, and some lintdor chocolate, which happens to be my fave. In the mail came an expensive Egyptian cotton sheet set for our bed (which I've already slept in, and it's good!). For him I was working on this Alphabet of Love book. I couldn't find the right materials as the tutorial I was trying to follow so I had to come up with my own thing. I hot glued fabric around the journal book, turned it sideways and went through the alphabet about why I love him/26 things about our love, complimentary with Avenger stickers haha! There are like 50 pages left over so I wrote a note saying we could write each other back and forth whenever we think the other person needs a love letter or words of encouragement. I think he really liked that. I also got him a bag of hershey's nuggets and told him, "You are the nugget of gold in my life!" Haha! It was a fun day.

He ended up going to class and while Lydia was napping, I took a much needed 3 hour nap. Don't worry, I'll be ready to go back to sleep in a few hours. :)

My crafting abilities kind of stink.. I cannot measure/glue fabric on very straight haha. And this color is a more brighter green/ blue

hahaha LOKI... because he is crazy

New Egyptian cotton sheets!

photoshoot with my little Valentine!! (while Daddy was at school)

My FAVE!

I'm so thankful for Jonathan and Lydia in my life! They are the sweetest Valentine's a girl could ask for!! I love them!!!

How is School Affecting My Life?

So I've been meaning to write this the past few days, but always lack time.

I actually really love all of my classes here at BYU-Idaho. Even my online ones, even though they can sometimes be a pain with all the work I have to put into it. But I am really trying to apply myself in all my classes, moreso than I did when I was at the UAF in Alaska. I do all the reading, no skimming.. I take time to read all the chapters, even when they're 15-29 pages long. And it's kinda crazy you know? How much I seem to apply or think about the things I learn and put it into my life. For instance, when it comes to sewing, I now look at all kinds of things I could *possibly* sew, if I had the fabric/time.. and I am constantly checking out Lydia's outfits and looking at the stitches and wondering what patterns you would have to cut out to match certain parts of the clothes. Haha don't judge.
I also think about the things I learn in my sociology class and instead of looking at things normally, I am constantly thinking about things in a certain theorist point of view. So nerdy, but I guess that's the point of learning, right? To apply what you learn to real life.

We've been studying socialization in my sociology class, how one comes to know the beliefs, values, norms and cultures. We also looked at feral children - those who are accidentally left or lost in the wild at a young age where learning how to communicate is crucial and are raised by animals or the jungle (It really happens despite how weird it sounds.. kinda like Mowgli from Jungle Book) and how it is hard to resocialize them back into society. Well, family is a big agent of socialization and making sure little kids learn certain parts of culture.

  Anyway, one story along those lines that my sociology teacher told us during class was how before he taught at the school he was a counselor or something of that sort and this mother came in and told him that something was "wrong" with her daughter.. she's not behaving normally for her age (4) and acts like her mom is a stranger to her. She basically wanted him to figure out what was wrong and "fix her". He talked to the mom and got her story of what happens during the day. She drops her kid off at daycare in the morning, sometimes in her pjs, she has breakfast, lunch, and dinner and then gets picked up where the mom dresses her for bed and puts her to sleep and then repeats the next day. When he talked to the daughter and got her side of the story she said that in the morning she goes to her family every morning and then gets picked up by a stranger every evening, spends the night, and then goes back to her family the next morning.

How sad to be her mother and hear this. It was pretty heartbreaking to hear this story, but it made me really appreciative that I can and get to stay home and be Lydia's mother. I feel so privileged. I understand a lot of moms don't have a choice when it comes to working and childcare, but I hope that our life chances will be so that I can always stay home and be with my babies. It is where I long to be and I love being a mother. I'm glad that story reaffirmed my love for being a mom.

I just feel glad that I am taking classes and exercising my noggin. I've mentioned before to friends that I don't really care if I get a 4 year degree here.. I am just thankful to be gaining an education and learning new things. I like being in school, even if at times it's stressful. If plans work out and Jonathan graduates and needs/wants to go to graduate school somewhere else before I finish, then that's okay. I really like the learning part of this all and the new perspective it's giving me.

My Last January Thoughts

Well, it is almost the end of the month, and I only have 2 posts to account for the whole month of January. Sad.
It's been a crazy roller-coaster..and it's gone by really fast. When we got back from Grandma's, Lydia got into a pattern of sleeping with us in our bed. Jonathan got sick while we were in Payson, then Lydia got sick..and after a week and a half of thinking I was immune (haha I wish!) I got down with the sickness, as well. It was lovely. I got sick my second week of school and I was terribly miserable. I couldn't sleep (because I'm a mom and I have chores and homework to do) and I couldn't take hardly anything to remedy it. Luckily I only have 4 classes out of the week that I get to go to, so that part wasn't too bad, but I still was overloaded with homework. I am very happy to say I'm back to normal and I love not having to blow my nose every 2 minutes.

Not to mention, I love love love having a healthy baby. Lydia is such a sweetheart when she's healthy. She is happier, nicer to be around, and just has a sweeter, more fun personality. When she's sick all she does is whine, and it was really hard for me to get anything done because all she wanted to do was cuddle and be whiney. So I definitely cherish our good health right now! AND I have gotten her back into her good nap/bedtime routine. She is falling asleep in her bed now. She can't climb up by herself, so I put her in her crib and then sit with her til she falls asleep. It's so much easier that way, and I don't have to worry about her needing to be in our bed just to fall asleep. Hooray for day 2!

I try to get all my homework due for the early part of the next week done by Saturday night, so that I'm not stressing during Sunday and so I can relax and I always try to stay a day ahead of my homework assignments. Yesterday was such a nice day for us. After going to church, taking our afternoon naps, Lydia cuddled up to me and just laid vertically upon my me/my stomach. It was a sweet moment, and much needed, as I played with her hair, especially not thinking about homework as I did it. I got to behold her and realize how big she is getting. She is so incredibly smart for her age (at least to me, I think) and she is just not a tiny baby anymore! I miss it! I haven't totally neglected her, but our playtime has been stretched thin whenever I'm buried with homework. I always try to remind myself to take time from my assignments and play with her so that she's not watching 3 episodes of Sesame Street in a row, like today (oops.. did I just say that out loud? haha) but it's so easy to just let her be distracted so I can get things done. It's only the first month of school but I can honestly already say I'm ready for July when our semesters are over so I can just play and focus on my babies!

Speaking of babies, Little Sis feels so wiggly these days. It's a fun part of pregnancy. I passed my glucose test, so that's great. And I only have 11 more weeks to go, which I think will go by really fast. I have another appointment this Friday and will continue having appointments every two weeks until the last month. How exciting!

Right now I feel like I have a lot on my plate.. I'm not sure how April is going to be. Definitely not easier. I know I want to take classes next semester..but I also don't want to take them just to fail them because I can't complete any assignments because of sleep deprivation. But also, having the pell grant and student loan available is a nice cushion for the rest of the year. So I'm hoping and praying for strength from God that He will be able to bless me and make me super mom (haha) and get me through these next 6 months.. 'cause I'm gonna need it!

Anyway, I felt like posting something since I haven't written or taken time out for myself to do something I want. It feels good writing on the computer something not school related.

Winter Semester Schedule at BYU-Idaho

This is what our school/work schedule looks like for this semester! Busy busy busy!!!



Monday: Jonathan has work from 730-1030am (I have to drop off/pick up because all the north zone decals were sold out). He then drives himself to his juvenile deliquency class at 1245-145. Then he drops me off at my children's sewing class at 3:15 and picks me up at 4:45. I was supposed to have a sociology class that follows after at 515, but they decided to turn it into a hybrid class and skip the first class of the week and just give me more online homework (yay, just what I need). That's our Monday. At least we're all done by 4:45 and have the rest of the day to relax, do FHE, and homework.


Tuesday:  Jonathan has his robotics class from 9-1045 and then a middle east class from 1130-1230. He's done for the day but then I have my science foundations class that evening from 730-930pm. He doesn't work on T/TH but works twice on W/F.


Wednesday: Same schedule as Monday, working in the morning 730-1030 and his juvenile class, except add in my intro to sociology class from 5:15-645 pm after my sewing class and Jonathan's work overlaps that class by about 20 minutes, at 620-1030. So Whitney babysits Lydia for about 45 minutes until I come home at 7.

The first half of the week seems super stressful and busy..but it kinda dies down after that.

Thursday: Jonathan has his middle east class from 1130-1230 and then an auto maintenance class from 1245-145. Then he has history from 6-9 in the evenings. I have no classes for the rest of the week (Just tons and tons of online homework, go me!)


Friday: I take Jonathan to work from 730-1030. Then he goes to his juvenile class at 1245 and then works from 6:20-1030. Pretty easy day.. or so it seems.


Even though it looks like I have a lot of free time, since 2 of my classes now only meet once a week I'm going to have even more online homework. Add that with my kinda stressful sewing class (just stressful because I don't know what I'm doing and I ended up leaving class 15 minutes late yesterday and messing up my project haha) and the rest of my Book of Mormon homework and American Foundations online reading, I have no idea how I'm going to even manage the house and have time to play with Lydia. I'm pretty sure she already feels ignored and it's killing me.

This week has been so wonky. Our first day of school was hectic because we were running around, trying to get pell grant money, fix our car, and we didn't have a decal so there was a lot of picking up/dropping off involved. It was really exhausting. Hopefully next week will be lots easier once we have a schedule down. I'm also hoping Lydia will do better and go to sleep earlier and sleep the whole night instead of waking me up because that is getting tiring too. This week has been semi easier than what I anticipate only because my 2 online classes haven't opened up their assignments/readings yet, but I know I will have a lot more to do and a lot less time to do other stuff, like manage this blog. So be prepared to not see many posts in the future! Haha


Anyway, here's to a fun, challenging, tiring, exhausting semester!! Just pray for me and hope I don't want to drop out of school by next semester when I have another baby on my hands. This should be fun ;)

Things I know (about my 18mo)

It seems lately I am more impressed by what Lydia does and often times her personality makes me laugh so much. She is so sweet, and often times so funny. Here are things I know about my 18 month old.

I know

She loves playing with her baby doll. Since we've been hopping around cars and using our friend's and Jon's brother's car, we've had to pull Lydia's car seat out a few times. Well, the other day while it was sitting in our house, she grabbed her doll and plopped it in the seat. Then she found the small plastic blue cup that we usually use to pour water on her hair in the tub and placed it directly on the baby's head, like a hat. She must've thought it was soo funny because she was laughing at her doll. When I finally saw it I laughed. She is so goofy but she is the funnest!

She learned the sign for bird while we were at my Grandma's house. Every time her bird clock cooed on the hour Lydia would look so surprised and search for the birds and sign bird. It was cute.

She has a love for the elderly. She absolutely loved Jonathan's grandpa when we were in Colorado and had so much fun with my Grandma in Utah..she even called her mawmaw. :) I think Grandma enjoyed that, despite feeling tired and having a headache some of the time we were there.

Coming home from traveling and spending a lot of time sleeping together while we were gone, she know has a habit of sleeping with us. It's usually fine at night because she passes out in 2 minutes so I can put her in her bed.. but it's kind of frustrating tiring when she wakes up in the middle of the night and cries to just be put back to sleep in our bed and wants milk...

We'll have I LOVE YOU/LUH YOU wars. She'll always try to outshout us when telling us she loves us. I love it!

She definitely can tell that something's different about this semester, with me going to school now and all. I think she definitely feels me missing throughout the day. When I came home and she woke up from her nap, she whined and just wanted me to hold her. She said "moo" for food, so while I was trying to make some for us, she continued to whine/cry and didn't eat what I offered her. She was so content with me just cradling her as she looked up to me and we did "butterfly kisses" with our eyes. She is so precious, but I feel bad that I'm so busy now. Before all of my attention was on her.. now I have to split it.

She still runs away from me when I want to change her diaper or dress her. She thinks it's a big game. I swear, she's the happiest baby ever.

I know

She knows that there's a baby in my tummy. Whenever I say baby she points to my stomach. She'll even kiss it... and often times push on it (haha, not so fun). I think I've shown her enough babycenter videos on the computer that she finally comprehends :) at least I think so.

Speaking of kissing.. she doesn't say "MUAH" anymore! It's kinda sad. Now she makes the actual kissing sound...and she kisses everything.

She doesn't like it when you tell her people/objects are going "ni-night".. for some reason that really upsets her. But if she sees someone with their eyes closed she'll repeatedly say "ni-ni".

Today we found an ant on our kitchen floor, but I think part of it was stepped on because it was doing the jig like no other! I told Lydia he was dancing (although it was probably in pain lol) and she thought that was the funniest thing ever!

She loves helping me with the prayer. She usually repeats back the last word of every sentence. So, "we thank Thee for this day" "daay" "for this food" "moo" and so on and so forth. The one thing that was always surprising to me is we never refer to Jonathan as father, only Daddy or papa. But whenever we pray and I say, "Dear Heavenly Father," she always repeats back, "Daddy". I thought that was interesting, and very cool.

Whenever I'm on the computer and I'm not giving her enough attention, she'll climb RIGHT on top of me, blocking my view of the screen and sit on my belly. That doesn't last long because it hurts. At least she knows how to get my attention, right?

Whenever she takes something from someone (like her cousin Anna) and she knows she wants it back she'll run to me and repeatedly say "up! up!"... as if I'm going to save her... ha yeah right!

I know

She's a big copycat. Just now my computer died because I forgot to plug it in. When it shut off I said, "aww man!" and she then said, "aww mahn!" She'll also repeat my grunts and groans when I'm frustrated hahah it's so funny to hear.

She'll take any little object and place it to her eyes and say "teeeeeeee!" for cheese, like a camera. And she figured out how to use Aunt Mari's camera and take pictures of her random body parts, without anyone showing her.

Today, she placed her empty hand up on my ear and said "HALLO!" over and over. I just had to laugh. She is just the sunshine to my day. Always making me smile.

She doesn't care much for regular yogurt, but she LOVES gogurt! I can't even eat a whole one in her presence because she thinks every one is for her.

I've been teaching her to say "yeah" more often. So when she whines and I ask her a question I tell her to say "yes" or "no" and she usually responds with yeah and is immediately happy. Communication is key!

She loves the Hulk. I don't know why. We have a Cinderella cup and a Hulk cup and today she wanted to play with the Hulk cup lol.

On the opposite side of that, she is a BIG girly girl! She loves lotions, smelling and rubbing them into her hands. At my Scentsy party she wanted to be a part of all the sniffing. And when we were at the mall to see the puppies, she refused to pet the puppies after one licked her. She just said "ew" over and over. Such a girl.


I have been having so much fun with my 1 and a half year old. It really is a fun time for parenting and I just love Lydia at this age. I'm thankful to know my baby at 18 months. :)