Thoughts on Motherhood and Protecting Your Child

I was pondering the other night. I was thinking about Lydia and how she will be when she's older. What will influence her life and the choices she might make. I was hoping and praying that I am doing a good job now and being a good example for her. When you think about it, it's kind of a burden to know that you need to be good all the time because you so dearly hope your child will come out better than you know you have. I constantly think about that all the time - am I doing enough? Of course I'm not!.. but at least I realize that. I know I need to do better.

The other thing that has been on my mind has been the constant fear that something might happen to her. I know I shouldn't think like that. But it's hard not to.While I know there are tons of good people on the earth, there are equally a lot of bad, cruel people desiring to hurt others. And that's what pains my heart. When I read the news articles about the children (and even 23 year old married woman) abducted and murdered, it makes me think... Will I ever be able to protect her enough?? I already know the answer. The answer is no. But it always has me thinking.. what can I do to protect her the best that I can? Should I drive her to school? Should I just homeschool? No sleepovers? Only friends at our house? Drive her everywhere? Homeschool through college!?!? (haha okay that is a joke, but seriously...) I just don't want to imagine anything bad happening to her because I just love this little soul so much!

Even on her bad days, beauty shines through and I find a million more ways to love her.

 Seriously, moms, how do you find the balance between letting your child do what they want, giving them space to grow and make choices, while trying to protect them at the same time? It seems like a difficult line. I just want to make the best decisions for Lydia (and all my kids) and our family.

It's kinda funny I had been thinking about all this, and then a friend from Church posted this link on facebook earlier this week, and then I shared it as well.

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/protect-the-children?lang=eng&query=protect+children

 It is so powerful, I encourage all to read or watch it. It's also kinda funny because then in Relief Society today, the person who gave the lesson gave it on the same talk. I'm pretty sure half the room was emotional by our discussion, but it was a great lesson. One thing I loved that was said during the lesson today was how one sister remarked how she wished she was able to save this cold, starving little child in Mongolia but couldn't and how her husband reminded her that she won't be able to save every child. And another sister remarked how even though she, too, feels like she wants and needs to save all the children, she can't..but Christ already has. And it is so true. By the power of the Atonement, all the children are loved and saved. It was just a powerful lesson.  

However, oh do the children of this world need so much love and protection from caring responsible adults as the earth gets progressively more wicked and cruel. The unwanted, unborn, unloved, lost souls need us more than ever!

When I came home and Lydia was asleep in my arms, the previous discussion helped me to behold my little one and see the beauty in her peaceful slumber. I am thankful I have a little someone to hold.

When I look back on past conversations with friends saved on my computer, I saw that I could care less about children and babies. It broke my heart reading how heartless I was then. Since having Lydia she has opened my eyes and my heart to to have compassion on all children, especially the unloved, misunderstood ones. I think having a child does that to you. I can see a definite change in me now, from 8 years ago in high school and I'm thankful for that. I would do anything for a child. I'm sure most of you know that already. But I'm so glad I had that change of heart. I can say my joy is full with Lydia in my life. I just wish every child felt loved and every parent adult knew how to love a child.

 And when she shakes her hips to songs, giggles at things mom and dad do, smiles so wide, calls me "maaa mwwaaa" or when she gave me lots of kisses (big long ones) today during church it just reaffirms my unwavering love for her. I love being a Mother.

Our Fun Filled Weekend!

Starting...Wednesday night!

Our neighbors Jared and Whitney invited us to go to the Haunted Mill but we weren't filling very up to it (plus, it's getting colder at night) so instead, Wednesday evening, we went to watch Hotel Transylvania! And it was actually really cute!! Lydia actually giggled at it a few times, mostly when the girl or dad turned into a "bird" aka bat. It was pretty cute.

Thursday morning, we woke up to snow! Woohoo! It snowed long enough that it actually stayed. Good thing we got Lydia some snow gear. We dressed her all up and went to go play in "no." She was a little unsure what to think of it at the time.. but she loved seeing me hop up and down all around in the snow in my brown winter boots. And she was fussy when we took her in, so I'm assuming she liked it!

Lil pink marshmallow!

What is this stuff, momma?

I think Jonathan forgot to tell Lydia "cheese"

After that we hopped in the car and went to the DI and walmart to get some stuff for our zombie costumes then we went home, had dinner and Jonathan left for work and it was just up to me and Lydia to entertain ourselves! Well Lydia fell asleep fast and I ended up working on a drawing of Lydia. I gotta fix things here and there but overall I'm pretty pleased.

Tried hard to get a pic of it without a terrible glare..hence the funky angle.

 Took me all night and luckily, even when she was awake from her nap, I was still able to draw because she has a pretty good imagination and was playing with her toys. I love watching her play.

I turn around and found her in her carseat with her baby singing. Got in there all by herself lol

She was playing with her horse the other night going "eeeee!! eeeeeeee!!!" And kissing it. lol Love her imagination.

Friday we got up late, Jonathan went to work and I ended up cleaning out our kitchen. It needed it really bad. I organized all the papers, bills, etc, and threw a lot of junk away. I ended up finding a coupon for $5 off an oil change AND when me and Tiki went to check the mail, my Alaskausa debit card came in the mail, so we can go get an oil change now. We definitely need it. See? Cleaning has its benefits.
Then we picked up Jonathan, got subway, went to the store to get Texas Chili ingredients, rushed home, got Lydia in her Tinker Bell costume, while Jonathan started to zombify himself and make the chili, then got myself in my costume. We rode with Jared and Whitney who came dressed as cute colonial people.

My friend Hayley and her husband who were zombie prom king and queen

Whitney and Jared

us.. haha.. Jonathan showing off his throat slice..

Hahaha don't laugh. Okay you can. Jonathan the mexican hillbilly Chef and random cross eyed zombie girl!

cuties haha Whitney and Jared

Oh c'mon Jared, act like you like it!! haha

technically with my bullet wound, I shouldn't even be "alive!" I rolled my eyes back.

And then taught Jonathan how to! haha

Heheh hotties!!

We saw a lot of fun costumes at the party. Unfortunately I suck at taking sneaky pictures of people. But there was Captain Hook, a mermaid, Tinker Bell, and Peter Pan. There was a mexican looking for work, and his (white) wife who was border control (haha). There was also a few people dressed like crayons, pirates, Robin Hood, Black Widow and Hawkeye and lots others. It was a good turnout. There was also zombie prom king and queen! So weren't the only zombies. It was a fun night. But we all ended up crashing really early. Lydia slept 12 hours!!! Love her!

Basically, the only cute pictures I could take of her because she hates when I take pictures lol.. always moves around.

beautiful girl :)

Today I got up at 8 with Lydia, she helped me make Norwegian pancakes while listening to Christmas music, and we all had breakfast together. Then my brother in law and his friend came over at 1230 and made themselves a late breakfast. At 3 I went with my partner to do our visiting teaching. I love doing that. I swear, my face always hurts after we get done because we laugh so darn much! Best two hours of my life sometimes!!

As of right now we just got back from our friend's son's early birthday/halloween/going away party because they are moving to Reno next week. It was good to see them one (or one of) the last times before they go. Their son was so cute as well. Dressed as a little Dracula. Lydia must've liked him because she kept giving him kisses on the head! And we got a cute video of it right before he crashed. Too funny. Fun night!

Hahaha looks so great! shmooshed faces but she's kissing him here haha

She decided to go "ni-ni" on a balloon

And then it slipped out from underneath her haha

 

A big kiss before Henry crashes to the floor. Oops! True love hurts sometimes, pal!! ;)

  Well, I hope your weekend was as fun as ours and that this hopefully caught you up on our lives!

Miss Me Yet?

What's wrong with me? I haven't posted anything in almost 2 weeks! That's pretty unusual. I know I'm not a very consistent blogger, but I at least usually try to get a post or two out every week or so. I'm not sure why I haven't been lately. I guess it's because I feel like there isn't very important things going on lately. We've just been breezing through Fall. The other part is that..while I actually do write posts, I just don't want to publish them yet until the time is right. So that's why it probably looks like I haven't written in a long time. Sometimes I want to write what other people would enjoy reading, as well as what goes on in our lives and lately..no topics have recently come to mind. ....There, done with excuses..... for now ;)

WELL we're gonna change things! I'm gonna actually post something for people to read today. Here are some positive things that have happened lately.

source

* Lydia has successfully drunk(?) 2 whole gallons of cow's milk and is currently on her 3rd. Hooray! She loves the stuff. I'm glad. I actually went a whole day without nursing on Sunday.. and kinda missed it. Weird, huh? (However, she's still not weaned haha)

*Jonathan started donating plasma again. And they upped the reward money by 5 bucks. That's a nice little perk for getting poked.

*I've been trying to decide how I can earn some money around here. Obviously I'd like something where I can stay at home with Lydia.. so Babysitting is welcomed (spread the word Rexburgers! lol).. also, I can't wait for my yarn from Alaska to get mailed down here (ahem, Mari!) 'cause I was thinking about making scarves/hats/baby boots/ whatever to sell, especially since it's getting colder. And possibly in the future becoming a Scentsy consultant.. but it all just kinda depends on how busy I am with school and everything. I just need to help a little with the income.

*Lydia got to see snow (not for the first time, but the first time understanding what it is), got new snow gear, and a halloween costume all in one day.

*Jonathan got paid today. Always a bonus to our day.

*I managed to clean...my side of the bedroom today haha. I was going to say our room, but that would be lying..

*Lydia's favorite words of late are: tank-you, ooh-key, cook-keyy, and hiii-yaaaa! (haha) Plus she goes around the house saying, "la la LA la la LA la la LA" with her dollies and it just makes me smile.

*Jonathan gave a really good family home evening lesson yesterday, complete with visual.

*I spotted the first snow of the season out our window..proceeded to turn on Christmas music, and danced with Lydia as we all sang along. I've been waiting so long for snow!!

What are the positive things going on in your life??