I was pondering the other night. I was thinking about Lydia and how she will be when she's older. What will influence her life and the choices she might make. I was hoping and praying that I am doing a good job now and being a good example for her. When you think about it, it's kind of a burden to know that you need to be good all the time because you so dearly hope your child will come out better than you know you have. I constantly think about that all the time - am I doing enough? Of course I'm not!.. but at least I realize that. I know I need to do better.
The other thing that has been on my mind has been the constant fear that something might happen to her. I know I shouldn't think like that. But it's hard not to.While I know there are tons of good people on the earth, there are equally a lot of bad, cruel people desiring to hurt others. And that's what pains my heart. When I read the news articles about the children (and even 23 year old married woman) abducted and murdered, it makes me think... Will I ever be able to protect her enough?? I already know the answer. The answer is no. But it always has me thinking.. what can I do to protect her the best that I can? Should I drive her to school? Should I just homeschool? No sleepovers? Only friends at our house? Drive her everywhere? Homeschool through college!?!? (haha okay that is a joke, but seriously...) I just don't want to imagine anything bad happening to her because I just love this little soul so much!
Even on her bad days, beauty shines through and I find a million more ways to love her.
Seriously, moms, how do you find the balance between letting your child do what they want, giving them space to grow and make choices, while trying to protect them at the same time? It seems like a difficult line. I just want to make the best decisions for Lydia (and all my kids) and our family.
It's kinda funny I had been thinking about all this, and then a friend from Church posted this link on facebook earlier this week, and then I shared it as well.
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/protect-the-children?lang=eng&query=protect+children
It is so powerful, I encourage all to read or watch it. It's also kinda funny because then in Relief Society today, the person who gave the lesson gave it on the same talk. I'm pretty sure half the room was emotional by our discussion, but it was a great lesson. One thing I loved that was said during the lesson today was how one sister remarked how she wished she was able to save this cold, starving little child in Mongolia but couldn't and how her husband reminded her that she won't be able to save every child. And another sister remarked how even though she, too, feels like she wants and needs to save all the children, she can't..but Christ already has. And it is so true. By the power of the Atonement, all the children are loved and saved. It was just a powerful lesson.
However, oh do the children of this world need so much love and protection from caring responsible adults as the earth gets progressively more wicked and cruel. The unwanted, unborn, unloved, lost souls need us more than ever!
When I came home and Lydia was asleep in my arms, the previous discussion helped me to behold my little one and see the beauty in her peaceful slumber. I am thankful I have a little someone to hold.
When I look back on past conversations with friends saved on my computer, I saw that I could care less about children and babies. It broke my heart reading how heartless I was then. Since having Lydia she has opened my eyes and my heart to to have compassion on all children, especially the unloved, misunderstood ones. I think having a child does that to you. I can see a definite change in me now, from 8 years ago in high school and I'm thankful for that. I would do anything for a child. I'm sure most of you know that already. But I'm so glad I had that change of heart. I can say my joy is full with Lydia in my life. I just wish every child felt loved and everyparent adult knew how to love a child.
And when she shakes her hips to songs, giggles at things mom and dad do, smiles so wide, calls me "maaa mwwaaa" or when she gave me lots of kisses (big long ones) today during church it just reaffirms my unwavering love for her. I love being a Mother.
The other thing that has been on my mind has been the constant fear that something might happen to her. I know I shouldn't think like that. But it's hard not to.While I know there are tons of good people on the earth, there are equally a lot of bad, cruel people desiring to hurt others. And that's what pains my heart. When I read the news articles about the children (and even 23 year old married woman) abducted and murdered, it makes me think... Will I ever be able to protect her enough?? I already know the answer. The answer is no. But it always has me thinking.. what can I do to protect her the best that I can? Should I drive her to school? Should I just homeschool? No sleepovers? Only friends at our house? Drive her everywhere? Homeschool through college!?!? (haha okay that is a joke, but seriously...) I just don't want to imagine anything bad happening to her because I just love this little soul so much!
Even on her bad days, beauty shines through and I find a million more ways to love her.
Seriously, moms, how do you find the balance between letting your child do what they want, giving them space to grow and make choices, while trying to protect them at the same time? It seems like a difficult line. I just want to make the best decisions for Lydia (and all my kids) and our family.
It's kinda funny I had been thinking about all this, and then a friend from Church posted this link on facebook earlier this week, and then I shared it as well.
It is so powerful, I encourage all to read or watch it. It's also kinda funny because then in Relief Society today, the person who gave the lesson gave it on the same talk. I'm pretty sure half the room was emotional by our discussion, but it was a great lesson. One thing I loved that was said during the lesson today was how one sister remarked how she wished she was able to save this cold, starving little child in Mongolia but couldn't and how her husband reminded her that she won't be able to save every child. And another sister remarked how even though she, too, feels like she wants and needs to save all the children, she can't..but Christ already has. And it is so true. By the power of the Atonement, all the children are loved and saved. It was just a powerful lesson.
However, oh do the children of this world need so much love and protection from caring responsible adults as the earth gets progressively more wicked and cruel. The unwanted, unborn, unloved, lost souls need us more than ever!
When I came home and Lydia was asleep in my arms, the previous discussion helped me to behold my little one and see the beauty in her peaceful slumber. I am thankful I have a little someone to hold.
When I look back on past conversations with friends saved on my computer, I saw that I could care less about children and babies. It broke my heart reading how heartless I was then. Since having Lydia she has opened my eyes and my heart to to have compassion on all children, especially the unloved, misunderstood ones. I think having a child does that to you. I can see a definite change in me now, from 8 years ago in high school and I'm thankful for that. I would do anything for a child. I'm sure most of you know that already. But I'm so glad I had that change of heart. I can say my joy is full with Lydia in my life. I just wish every child felt loved and every
And when she shakes her hips to songs, giggles at things mom and dad do, smiles so wide, calls me "maaa mwwaaa" or when she gave me lots of kisses (big long ones) today during church it just reaffirms my unwavering love for her. I love being a Mother.
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