All The Things That Could Go Wrong

Usually I try to write things that are light and uplifting, or thought provoking.. or I try to make motherhood look a little glamorous (It's not, okay, I get it.). It was definitely not glamorous today.

Let's relive our day, shall we?

I finally went to sleep last night earlier than 1 (which is pretty good considering I was thinking that I should call 3am the new 1am haha sad..)

But then Lydia woke up crying at 430am. I rocked her then laid her back down in her room awake with her sippy. She seemed fine..like she would fall back asleep.

Next, I tried to climb back into bed noiseless. Fail. Elena wakes up at 530. I try nursing her back to sleep, which kind of works except for I start to get uncomfortable on my side and wiggle ever so slightly. She wakes up completely. When she's awake, she's awake. So I sit on the recliner and rock for about an hour knowing she's in her state of wakefulness, waiting for her to tire again, all the while hearing Lydia talk to herself in her room and finally knock on her door.

I eventually lay Elena back down at 645 and get Lydia back into her bed with another cup and then go to lay in my bed waiting for Elena to fall asleep. She wiggles like a baby seal on her stomach in the crib for 45 minutes and then Jonathan's alarm goes off at 730. Baby finally falls asleep. I fall asleep. By 830 he comes back in the room asking for something.

Pass out.

Til 1pm.

Attempt to put the babies and myself on a schedule: Fail

So from 1pm on Lydia decided:

That while I'm cleaning the kitchen she's going to sneak a beef bullion cube and take a few bites from it. Once I realized she was eating that I took it away from her and offered her a topless sippy cup with water to rinse her mouth out. Dumb, I know. I want her to eventually learn how to drink from a cup the normal way though..

Then I returned to the dishes making a big mistake. Once she saw that it started to drip down her chin, she decided to pour the rest of it on the kitchen floor. She was also thrilled to clean it up.

During "breakfast," or whatever you'd like to call our first meal after 1pm, I was just about to tell Jonathan how we have to supervise her every move because she's into everything, just as she dumps her plate of food all over her tray. I'll take a dumping over her tray rather than the floor any day, but it's still just one more mess for me to clean up. Apparently, even when she's 2 feet away from me she still needs supervision!

She did the same thing during dinner today while I watched her do it! Dumped her bowl of soup onto her tray. So I got a little upset because I'm just so dang tired of cleaning up messes and her fisted hands went straight to her cheeks as she looked at me wondering why I would get so upset over that. Then I put her in time-out for 2 minutes in which she tried to sneak out of it earning her another minute haha.

I definitely comprehend the meaning of terrible twos.

It's not that she's terrible.

She's just terribly into everything every moment that she's awake. And it's draining.


I will say though, while she tests my patience, and I sometimes feel like target practice, and Lydia will ask me for "ah cup" (meaning milk in her sippy cup) just about 138 times a day, tonight during Family Home Evening she showed me just how sweet and precious and innocent she truly is. And it melts all the other things away.

As we were about to do prayer before the lesson, Jonathan got up to use the rest room. Lydia started saying, "Daddy, ah prayer!" and folded her arms, bowed her head and closed her eyes. Say whaaat?! This momma was proud!! We've been battling reverence during prayers for a long time, but I feel like she's finally getting it, and the fact that she was trying to tell Jonathan to get ready for prayer melted my heart.

As I thought about today I realized I need to stop seeing all the wrong that Lydia does and start seeing her for all the good that she does. How smart she is. How truly beautiful she is and how beautifully happy she is, inside and out. She knows so much, and yes, she makes mistakes, but that doesn't change how much I love her, and how much I need her.

*Sigh of Relief* This Past Semester

The final assignment submitted.

I am done!

...for now...

As I turned in my last homework assignment Tuesday I have thought about how the last three months have progressed and all the things I have learned and I have been contemplating how this has been the hardest three months of my life. Being a full time student and a full time mother of two is probably the hardest thing I've ever done... yes, harder than childbirth (mine were actually pretty easy!). I've never been so tired, so exhausted, so unavailable to the household needs unfortunately, yet I felt like it was also rewarding in how much effort I put in to actually learning my material and the valuable knowledge I did obtain. 

Can I say that it was difficult, but I appreciated it?

I wouldn't say I want to do it all over again. Having a baby right at the beginning of a semester when you're taking 14 credits could have been academic suicide for me; luckily it wasn't. In fact, the opposite happened, surprisingly. Elena is sweet and high-spirited, however, I'm not looking for round three any time soon :).

I realized I have learned more in these past three (or you could say 3-6) months, than I have in a long time. I have a fresher, newer perspective on life, particularly the social problems of the world that affect us all, and most importantly myself and my look on life. Some things I learned were: 

site

While taking my World Development class I realized there were a whole lot more people out there that are truly suffering from poverty. That the sense of "poor" in America is nothing compared to the poor that people in lower developed countries experience. Even at our poorest, we still have it better than some people do in Africa and other countries. I learned about the United Nations Millennium Development Goals that are trying to eradicate poverty and extreme hunger, provide universal primary education, empower women and gender equality, decrease infant and maternal mortality rates, decrease the amount of HIV/AIDS, ensure environmental sustainability and achieve a global partnership between the nations so that all the rest of the other goals can be achieved by 2015. Before this class, I had no idea those goals even existed, let alone how big of a problem they were. Learning about that has opened my eyes to how truly blessed we are and how many opportunities we have and it makes me feel a sense of duty to be grateful for all I have and contribute back to society in a way that will help others have a better quality of life. 

In my Social Problems class I read an article from our book that wasn't even on the required reading list about spousal abuse and marital rape. I feel so terrible inside for all the women in the world who are treated terribly by their husbands/partners and feel like they have been objectified or have been beaten. When I came home from reading that I gave my husband a huge hug and thanked him for being a wonderful husband who treated me right. I have thought about it some, and If I ever do get a job outside the home, and have a chance to help other people or do any kind of social work, I think I want to work in a woman's shelter to empower women and get them back on their feet after tragedy to reenter society as a person with value. I want every woman to feel she's of worth. Before, I thought I wanted to be involved with helping little kids, but I think I would get too emotionally involved (sometimes I just want to save ALL the children!). But seeing certain videos about prostitution and rape in my social problems class, and reading that article on marital rape and the poor women who went through such terrible ordeals, I feel like they will need all the help they can get if they are going to be out in the world, on their feet again, raising good children. A good child can only be raised by a good mother.

In my Sociology of the Family class, part of a group assignment was that each member was to find a person that was from your topic and interview them, then write up your findings, get together with your group to see the similarities between your and their person and then present the findings to the class. My category/topic was a "parent of a homosexual." So I interviewed a friend's mother and since that interview it has totally changed my perspective on how we should treat others. I feel like I can sympathize better and I have a more open perspective. Even in casual conversations with friends who tend discriminate or make fun of others I try change the topic or tell them they shouldn't say things like that. My mind refers back to the interview and the feelings I noticed while the mother was talking to me and I have a lot of respect and admiration for her. This was kind of a tough assignment, mostly because I was nervous to interview someone, but I'm really glad I got the opportunity to talk to someone else about something that is important to them because it ultimately had a better impression on me.

I have learned a lot this past semester. Sometimes I felt like quitting or giving up, even knowing that I couldn't or that it would be a terrible mistake for the future to just not go to school anymore, despite the burning in my eyes or my pounding headache. Right now I don't know if I'll defer in January for a semester or wait til next April to defer, but I really do enjoy all the knowledge I am getting and wish that every person had an appetite for learning who attends school. I'd hear so many students say "This class is so pointless.. I wish I didn't have to take it," instead of being grateful for attending a great university with many opportunities and trying their best to soak up every bit of information they could. There are many children in the world who don't even have the chance to get basic primary education, and people here are complaining about a class they paid for. To me, it's sad.

 If I have learned one thing from my world development class is that in America we have all the resources and abilities to do great things. We need to show gratitude for it and it is our imperative duty to gain all the wisdom and knowledge we can and then contribute it back to society to help others.

I Never Want to Forget My 3 Month Old!

Ugh. I am way overdue on this post (and actually a few other posts from the past two months). All week I've mean meaning to write what I never want to forget about Elena turning 3 months old on Monday, but each day I got carried away with meaningless things and piles of homework. I'm so excited for this semester to be over with, you have no idea.

Here is what I never want to forget about my 3 MONTH OLD!

I never want to forget how when she wakes up in the morning she is so extremely happy. She will just "hoo" and "aww" at me for at least 10 minutes, not even caring about her hungry tummy or her soiled diaper. She loves that interaction.

Speaking of her lovely singing. The other night I was rocking her to sleep, humming a song, and after every phrase of the song she would sing back to me going, "oohhh.... oohhhhh...oohhh" every. time. Before she drifted off to sleep. It melted my heart with happiness.

She is currently wearing a size 2 diaper! Getting so big so quickly!

She has the prettiest little eye-lashes that I adore. The ends of them curl up naturally. She'll be so lucky if she never has to use an eyelash curler.

She has been sleeping much better these days. It's as if turning 3 months old was magic and she takes actual naps during the day.

She can almost hold her head up all the time without help. She's getting so good at it!

I never want to forget

That she has finally learned how to suck on her thumb. It's a big accomplishment for her! Especially for sucking mainly on her fist the past 3 months. It's like she's searching and searching and then finally finds it...then she proceeds to stick not only her thumb, but as much as she can get inside her mouth.

She has been so drooly lately! I hope she holds out for teething for at least another few months!

Right now she's wearing 3-6 month clothes and is barely fitting into her 0-3 month clothes. Sigh.. she's growing up too fast.

She is just the smiliest baby ever. And I don't even care if smiliest isn't a word. She smiles and laughs at just about everything!

I have gotten her to laugh a few times by wiggling her feet/toes near her mouth. She thinks it's so funny!

She is so ticklish! Even when she is a grump, taking off her clothes one arm at a time makes her start to smile and kind of laugh. And when I poke around her chest she wiggles from side to side and eventually smiles. I know, I'm kinda mean haha.

I never want to forget

How much I love her at this stage. She is getting so big so fast and is not my little newborn baby anymore. She has a personality and loves being with people, even if they just hold her. When I look into her eyes, and she is looking back at me, I feel like I can glimpse a piece of eternity.

THINGS I KNOW

ABOUT MY TWO YEAR OLD!

I can't believe Lydia's two already. Where did the time go? I can barely hold her on my lap because her limbs just flop everywhere and she talks so often using words that actually make sense. I can't hold her in one arm anymore and it's kind of heartbreaking, yet I love listening to her silly phrases and when she learns a new word it always impresses me. It's funny, I'm looking at her now, and even when I don't say a thing she'll tell me.."luh you." That is ultimately my favorite. Unprompted, pure baby love.

Here are some things I know about my two year old (side note: I wrote half of this before her birthday..and half after).

I know

She can officially count to 3 and is learning the alphabet bits at a time. She knows B, R, H and a few others. Someday she'll get them in order.

Sometimes I'll catch her petting Elena's soft baby hair and they'll smile at each other. I know they'll be best friends.

She likes to tease me and Jonathan and say, "C'mon Anna..c'mon Jonny," even though we stress using mom and dad. She thinks it's hilarious. She'll also call me Dad and Jonathan Anna on accident, which we think is funny. 

She barely weighs 27 pounds, and that's after eating haha. It's a little over twice as much as Sissy, but if Sissy gains two pounds a month like she's been doing, she'll probably be able to take her on when she's Lydia's age!

I know

Stinker does the exact opposite of what you want. I say "smile" ..she doesn't smile

She is extremely excited for her tricycle. We kind of made the mistake of getting her a tricycle while she was with us (to make sure it was the right size, along with the helmet) and ever since then, whenever we ask, "are you excited for your birthday?"she responds.."buhday br-c-cle"  hahaha. We were trying to convince her to leave nursury after Church on Sunday when she was refusing to come. Finally Jonathan said, "you want your tricycle?!" and she came zooming out the door. I had to get after him for teasing her..because that's "not nice." haha

She is a sweetheart to Elena. She always gives Elena kisses and when she does accidentally hurt her, Lydia gets upset that she hurt her sister and feels bad.

She used to be such a great eater, but now she's super picky! And usually will take only a few bites before she starts playing with her food. I always tell her that there are starving kids in Africa who wish they could have even a little bit of food. It's not new news, it's real news. That is the truth. She can thank my world development class for that one. 

She loves sitting in the recliner with me while I sing all the primary songs I can think of. When I ask her if she wants me to sing more, with big eyes she nods her head and says, "ah more songs." 

I know

She loves my blush brush. She calls it a "neece"..because the blush brush goes on CHEEKS..and cheeks obviously sound like neece lol.. I just find it funny that she fell asleep with it. And to this day I have no idea where my blush brush is... *Hmm...so that's why I've been looking extremely white in all my pictures lately*

That Lydia loves her tricycle. Can't say that enough. She takes "baco" (for bicycle) everywhere around the house and talks to it..haha it's kinda funny.

She loves watching videos on the computer. Not movies, but short video clips people put on facebook. Today she wanted me to watch videos of a friend's child dancing, Uncle Tony hit the pinata, and even when I'm watching videos for school she'll get all excited and come over to see what I'm watching. Her favorite ones are the ones of her..go figure! 

She always insists that we have "bear" (aka prayer) when I set her down to sleep at night. But I usually end up saying it. I'll then kiss her goodnight and give her a few hugs and as I'm walking away she says, "ah more hugs" or "more kissies." So I'll bend down and give her some more. Then she usually says "uhhh-one" for "the other one" and turn her face to get more. I absolutely love it..and no matter how many I've given I will continue to kiss and hug her however much she wants! 

Lydia, my darling two year old. My spunky, bright eyed, optimistic two year old. My ball of fire, my little sunshine, my constantly energized two year old. My life, my sweet little dream, my little baby, my two year old. I love you so, so much. Happy Birthday.