Dear Baby Elena,

As you wiggle around with less and less room in my tummy, I am constantly reminded how you will be in my arms in only 7 short weeks. My how time flies. Although I am sadly getting more and more stretch marks on my tummy (which I dread) they are a constant reminder to be thankful that you are growing so big and healthy. Stretch marks are only a temporary affliction.

Some of your favorite things to do are wiggle around, kind of like you're surfing in amniotic fluid (well, what's left of it anyway), which makes my stomach look like it's belly dancing!

You also love to stretch your body parts right during quiet moments, like at church or sewing class, which makes me say "ow!" out loud - one, because it hurts, and two, because it's very surprising! You are so strong already, you little stinker! I secretly hope you're small like your sister though. Small babies are so much lighter to carry. Don't worry though, I'll love you no matter what.

I went through Lydia's photo albums the other day and it made me even more curious to know what you will look like. Will you look like me? Will you look like Dad? Will you look like Lydia? Who knows!

Sometimes my phone reminds me to write down a pregnancy memory, and I often feel like I don't have that many that stick out (oops, forgive me :) ) but there have been a few times where you've been quite the wiggle worm!

One time me and Daddy were laying on our sides with our stomachs touching. You must've really not liked that because you were so quiet and calm and then all of a sudden you kicked dad right in the stomach! It was pretty funny. Not only did I get kicked, but Dad did too!

Another time I was in sewing class trying to make some cute clothes for you when you all of a sudden stretched your foot/elbow/knee/hard body part soo far out at the top of my stomach. I've never had you do that before and it hurt a lot so I actually said "ow" out loud a few times as you did it. It was cool (in a weird way) 'cause I could actually feel your little body poke through me but at the same time, it kinda hurt. I don't even remember that happening with Lydia. Maybe you'll be stronger than your sis. I hope my daughters will always have a sense of strength within them and will be able to carry their heads high. I love you so much.

I think your theme song as of late is, "I want to Break Free" by Queen. My oh my do you wiggle sometimes! It often feel like you want to break out of my skin! Just 6 more weeks and 5 days. Keep it together little one! I would really appreciate it if you stayed in until 40 weeks. Please oh please, don't come early and don't come late. That would be extremely helpful.

Well, I love you and I think about you often. How could I not when you stretch my belly out more than I think is possible and your feet cozy on up in my rib cage? I am glad there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I love you

Mama

The Reason

So, I think I have figured it out. Sorry if this post happens to be super mushy. Oh well.


I've been thinking about Lydia the past few days, and why I really really love her. I mean, I love her in all sorts of different ways, but this reason I am about to tell you takes the cake.


Here is my number one reason why I love her.

She is just a really happy person. 

And she knows how to be happy..

 ...and her happiness makes me happy. It's very contagious. She is such an easy person to love.

On the days where I feel I am at my worst, I know she will still make me smile. She has the tendency to make a happy moment out of anything. Even when we are riding in the car, she makes me smile. Earlier in her car seat she was saying in a quiet voice, "la..la... lala.. la la.." and then all of a sudden said, "LA!" really loud. She repeated that pattern with a few other of her special baby words. They all made me laugh for some reason. Random, silly, and beautifully childlike.

While we were walking inside from our little snow storm, she was so thrilled to see so much snow, as the snow flurries were large. She laughed as they blew into her face and she repeated "lo!!" or "no!" back and forth followed by little squeals. It just always amazes me how she finds joy in the simple things.

Such a great reminder. 

Gosh, I love her so much! I love seeing her grow. She learns new things every day and I feel like I get to experience my childhood all over again vicariously through her.

She is quick to forgive and quick to be happy. Earlier today after her shower she was running back and forth between me and outside of the bedroom door in just her diaper. However, she got so excited as she was running to me she tripped and her cheek and nose hit my shin. She immediately started crying.. and I had a clue of how bad it felt because my shin actually hurt too as I said "owww" out loud. She cried in my arms as I tried to console her. After about a minute or two she calmed down (after I promised her milk) and she was happy again. After that she was content as she was jumping up and down on my bed. 

When she sees Jonathan leaving for work and we kiss goodbye, she says, "Gug!" for hug and then smiles as we give each other a hug. Then she comes over and wants a hug and kiss too. She'll also say, "love you, byyeee" when we leave. She is just so precious. I can't get over it. (Hay, you were forewarned about the mushyness).

Sometimes I allow her to fall back asleep in our bed when she wakes up in the morning and, even though I'm so bloody tired, I still lay awake and watch her sleep so peacefully. Just as I did when she was first born. She is so precious to me. 

She is such a sweet soul. It's funny,  at this moment she is playing with her toys right in front of me (and ripping out pages of her books! Got after her for that one haha) and she doesn't even know I'm writing about her. She doesn't know just how much I love her. I could never bare to lose her. I think of all the parents, or those wanting to be parents, who have lost their child due to illness, death, or have gone astray and it breaks my heart. I never want to lose her.

I cherish every hug around my neck and every sweet kiss she plants on my lips. I wouldn't trade those for the world. She is the light of my life.

She is my little sunshine.

Be Mine?

Woohoo! Finally a post!

 When I was single I didn't really care about Valentine's day. Not because I was bitter, but because I didn't really care either way if I got anything (even though my dad used to always get us girls/kids gifts! I miss that. You can always be your Dad's Valentine haha.) Not that I care a lot now, I mean, if hubby hadn't done anything for me I would still love him just the same. But the fact that he went out of his way for me is just so sweet, especially in his busy hectic schedule. It's nice having a holiday where you get to focus on how much you love someone, even if you love them 364 other days of the year.


So, here is how our sweet Valentine's Day went.

I got up early at 7, to put Lydia back into her bed. She woke up during the night and I was already asleep so Jonathan plopped her in our bed while he stayed up late working on homework. At about 7 I could tell she was wiggling around so much trying to find a comfy spot, often using my belly as a pillow haha. I finally asked her, "do you want to go to your bed?" and she says, "yeah".. so I pick her up, lay her down and she falls asleep within 10 seconds in her bed. I'm thinking.... I SHOULD'VE DONE THIS HOURS AGO! haha

Anyway, so I got up and ready and went to the store to get some strawberries (I think that's the thing I crave the most? I could seriously eat them all the time) and some other breakfast essentials and come home to make some Norwegian pancakes.

Then Jonathan helped our neighbors move, got ready for school and left by 1130. That gave me time to work on this little book I was making for him. Meanwhile, Mari had asked if I could come over to her place and hang out with Lydia, while Jonathan was at a "study group." So he picked us up and dropped us off. Lydia and I had fun at Mari's place, eating lots and lots of eggless cookie dough, mmm! Instead of going to his group, Jonathan came home and fixed a really early dinner for us (since he has night school/test to study for). It was so sweet. He opened the doors for me, had Frank Sinatra playing, candles lit, and sparkling cider. It was so thoughtful. Last year I made a special dinner for us, so it was nice having the tables turned. Lately, he's really tried to make different foods, and it's so nice especially on the days where I'm too tired to make dinner. And he likes inventing. So it works out!

My personal CHEF!

Mmm, salmon, halibut, corn on the cob, and veggies. Totally new leaf appropriate!

For gifts he got me a beautiful rose, a wonderful card, and some lintdor chocolate, which happens to be my fave. In the mail came an expensive Egyptian cotton sheet set for our bed (which I've already slept in, and it's good!). For him I was working on this Alphabet of Love book. I couldn't find the right materials as the tutorial I was trying to follow so I had to come up with my own thing. I hot glued fabric around the journal book, turned it sideways and went through the alphabet about why I love him/26 things about our love, complimentary with Avenger stickers haha! There are like 50 pages left over so I wrote a note saying we could write each other back and forth whenever we think the other person needs a love letter or words of encouragement. I think he really liked that. I also got him a bag of hershey's nuggets and told him, "You are the nugget of gold in my life!" Haha! It was a fun day.

He ended up going to class and while Lydia was napping, I took a much needed 3 hour nap. Don't worry, I'll be ready to go back to sleep in a few hours. :)

My crafting abilities kind of stink.. I cannot measure/glue fabric on very straight haha. And this color is a more brighter green/ blue

hahaha LOKI... because he is crazy

New Egyptian cotton sheets!

photoshoot with my little Valentine!! (while Daddy was at school)

My FAVE!

I'm so thankful for Jonathan and Lydia in my life! They are the sweetest Valentine's a girl could ask for!! I love them!!!

How is School Affecting My Life?

So I've been meaning to write this the past few days, but always lack time.

I actually really love all of my classes here at BYU-Idaho. Even my online ones, even though they can sometimes be a pain with all the work I have to put into it. But I am really trying to apply myself in all my classes, moreso than I did when I was at the UAF in Alaska. I do all the reading, no skimming.. I take time to read all the chapters, even when they're 15-29 pages long. And it's kinda crazy you know? How much I seem to apply or think about the things I learn and put it into my life. For instance, when it comes to sewing, I now look at all kinds of things I could *possibly* sew, if I had the fabric/time.. and I am constantly checking out Lydia's outfits and looking at the stitches and wondering what patterns you would have to cut out to match certain parts of the clothes. Haha don't judge.
I also think about the things I learn in my sociology class and instead of looking at things normally, I am constantly thinking about things in a certain theorist point of view. So nerdy, but I guess that's the point of learning, right? To apply what you learn to real life.

We've been studying socialization in my sociology class, how one comes to know the beliefs, values, norms and cultures. We also looked at feral children - those who are accidentally left or lost in the wild at a young age where learning how to communicate is crucial and are raised by animals or the jungle (It really happens despite how weird it sounds.. kinda like Mowgli from Jungle Book) and how it is hard to resocialize them back into society. Well, family is a big agent of socialization and making sure little kids learn certain parts of culture.

  Anyway, one story along those lines that my sociology teacher told us during class was how before he taught at the school he was a counselor or something of that sort and this mother came in and told him that something was "wrong" with her daughter.. she's not behaving normally for her age (4) and acts like her mom is a stranger to her. She basically wanted him to figure out what was wrong and "fix her". He talked to the mom and got her story of what happens during the day. She drops her kid off at daycare in the morning, sometimes in her pjs, she has breakfast, lunch, and dinner and then gets picked up where the mom dresses her for bed and puts her to sleep and then repeats the next day. When he talked to the daughter and got her side of the story she said that in the morning she goes to her family every morning and then gets picked up by a stranger every evening, spends the night, and then goes back to her family the next morning.

How sad to be her mother and hear this. It was pretty heartbreaking to hear this story, but it made me really appreciative that I can and get to stay home and be Lydia's mother. I feel so privileged. I understand a lot of moms don't have a choice when it comes to working and childcare, but I hope that our life chances will be so that I can always stay home and be with my babies. It is where I long to be and I love being a mother. I'm glad that story reaffirmed my love for being a mom.

I just feel glad that I am taking classes and exercising my noggin. I've mentioned before to friends that I don't really care if I get a 4 year degree here.. I am just thankful to be gaining an education and learning new things. I like being in school, even if at times it's stressful. If plans work out and Jonathan graduates and needs/wants to go to graduate school somewhere else before I finish, then that's okay. I really like the learning part of this all and the new perspective it's giving me.